Fear of Falling
by kissonthechic
Summary: Ichigo and Rukia meet for the first time on the roof of a tower- both with the intention to jump. But what they don't anticipate is to fall in ways that have nothing to do with splattered guts or broken limbs.
1. I

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Tite Kubo  
><strong>Notes:<strong> This is clearly an AU story, but I just started writing on whim the other day so please tell me if I should continue because I'm still a bit unsure :) Also, by no means do I take suicide lightly nor do I promote it. What I write is for the sake of the story.  
><strong>Rated for:<strong> Strong language.

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><p><em><strong>"Where can you run to escape from yourself?" - Switchfoot<br>**_

**(ICHIGO)**

**9:26 pm**

The tower stood approximately two hundred and thirty four meters tall (and this didn't even include the fancy little restaurant situated at the base of it). Every night, it illuminated the city with hundreds of 25-watt light bulbs that were strung across the surface. Couples had romantic dates up on the observation decks all the time. Hell, they probably even had sex up there as well.

Even though I've lived in Karakura my whole life, I've only ever seen pictures of our supposedly famous landmark. You know, the ones where the photos are shot from a chin-up angle to capture the entire length of the structure? Really, the parents should just stop subjecting their kids to such poses; it only makes their children look like fat toddlers.

Anyway, it should've occurred to me that the keepers of the tower weren't just going to let a bunch of idiots scale to the very top and throw themselves over. No, there was a little metal door (which they might've stolen from the house of a dwarf) with the word 'CAUTION' engraved on the surface. It hindered my trek to the highest point of the tower.

Their security was top notch alright.

_But in all seriousness_, the door looked like one of those portable walls that parents put in front of staircases to prevent the risk of rolling babies. No wonder this was one of the most popular spots for emotionally unstable teenagers to launch themselves over. It was just too damn _easy_.

I put one leg over the door and swung the rest of my body on to the other side. My shoes made loud clanking noises against the metal stairs as I ran up the final flight. I hadn't constructed a plan of action prior to reaching the top, but there was an enormous surge of adrenaline pumping through me.

Once I reached the roof, I immediately bent over to catch my breath. Up here, Karakura looked like a sea of blinking lights and traffic. The city bustle was muted from where I stood, but the howl of the wind still rang in my ears. I reached down to zip up my sweater. It was fucking _freezing _out here. Maybe hypothermia would just do the job for me. In fact, it would eliminate the whole spectacle of having my brains splattered on the pavement below.

I slowly walked towards the ledge of the roof and looked straight ahead. Of course all the guys would take their dates for a romantic night out here. The view was undeniably beautiful; even _I _could see that. But don't get me wrong, I did not come up here to die a _beautiful _death or whatever (like how that annoying hair dresser Yumichika would always say). I had only decided an hour ago that I wanted to erase my pathetic existence off the face of the earth while shopping for toothbrushes.

Yes- plastic, teeth scrubbing _toothbrushes_.

Earlier today, I had been contemplating the merits of soft bristles versus medium bristles in a drug store aisle. That was when I realized, _'why the fuck am I buying a toothbrush at eight o'clock in the evening? Do I not have better things to do?'_

And the answer was no, no I did not. So conveniently, the Karakura Tower was only a block away from the drug store I was at. And that was how I ended up here.

_Obviously_, it was not only the toothbrush debacle that pushed me to the edge (no pun intended). I had a lot on my mind lately, and it had gotten to the point where I would probably self destruct from it all anyway.

I had to learn the hard way that people only gave a rat's ass about your presence if you were remotely useful…and apparently I was _plenty_ useful. For as long as I could remember, I've been running around doing stupid shit for strangers all day in order to please them. I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if these people were actually important to me, but they weren't.

But everybody insisted that they were '_important people_'. Attending quality dinners and dumb conferences with these snobs consumed all the time I had for myself. Clearly, they wanted to use my abilities to benefit their stupid companies, but I was just a pawn to their success.

I didn't want to model, play soccer, or do any of that crap.

So what _did_ I want? On paper, my life didn't look so bad. In fact, it looked pretty damn good, but there was something seemingly unattainable that was missing. I'd never admit it, but it would be nice to have some people who would do the same shit for me as I would do for them.

Jumping off would be a great, "_Fuck you!_" to anyone who's ever used me.

I cautiously sat down and dangled my legs over the edge. There was that annual lantern festival going on at the bottom of the tower. I hadn't realized that it was tonight though. Every year, some rich noble family would host the festival, and they would show off that their heir was getting engaged to a member of another noble family. It was all a bunch of pretentious bullshit. I attended the event several years ago with my dad, and the princess looked positively _ill_. I think she even fainted as the man proposed, probably from all that freakin' pressure put on her.

Everyone looked like little ants from my perspective. It was all glowy in the vicinity below. I decided that I wouldn't jump until the celebration was over. There were probably kids down there, and I didn't want to ruin their night by falling out of nowhere and leaving my guts on display. It wouldn't be right.

"What the hell?" a voice suddenly said from behind. _That_ scared the shit out of me.

I gripped onto the ledge to steady myself. When I turned around to see who it was, I was definitely_ not _expecting to see the freakin' princess of the Kuchiki family standing before me. Not that I knew her personally, but I had once seen the girl in a wheeled carriage during the New Year's parade.

I felt severely under-dressed beside her. She had on a traditional Japanese kimono with sakura blossoms embroidered into it, and her hair was done up with fancy golden pins. I must've looked like a gaping idiot in my zip-up and sweatpants (I didn't think it was necessary to dress up since I was going to eventually jump off a building anyway).

"Say something you fool!" she suddenly snapped.

I narrowed my eyes at her. If this was going to be my last day, I couldn't care less about how 'noble' this chick was. Her prissy attitude pissed me off, and she completely ruined my moment. Now that I was distracted, the rush I felt from before was gone.

"Are all princesses rude as fuck, or is it just you?"

"Oh, _I'm _the rude one? And I'm not a _princess_ you moron."

I glanced at the edge, then back at her. Jumping _now_ didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

**(RUKIA)**

**9:15 pm**

I let out a breath of exasperation as Yoruichi fixed the butterfly pin in my hair. "Stop fidgeting, will you?" she scolded as she jabbed it back in. I winced.

"The weight of everything in my hair will lop off my head, and then they'll have a headless heir to the clan," I said dryly.

Yoruichi laughed. "Quit worrying! I've met your fiancé, and he's a perfectly fine gentleman," she exclaimed. Her elbow nudged my side, "He's a cutie too!"

"And probably a pompous jerk," I muttered under my breath.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Hey, how did _you _get out of an arranged marriage? You're part of the Shihouin clan, aren't you?" I frowned. She gave me a stern look, and put both of her hands on my shoulders.

"Look, Byakuya is doing what he thinks is best for you, and his intentions are nothing but pure. Try not to look so bitter…for him, okay?" she said. I nodded reluctantly, but didn't say anything.

"Well if it isn't our little Rukia, all grown up and turning into a young woman!"

I turned around to see Kisuke Urahara making his way towards us. He nodded at Yoruichi. "Shut up Urahara," I snapped at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Now that isn't how the heir to the Kuchiki clan should be acting. Luckily, you have Yoruichi here to teach you how to be a lady."

Yoruichi elbowed him in the gut. He immediately crouched over in pain. "Ow!"

"We'll leave you alone now, Rukia. I'm sure there's a ton of people who wish to speak to you. See you in a bit!" she winked at me then grabbed Kisuke's arm and pulled him away.

"Hey wait!" I called out after her. I didn't want to be left alone, but she had already blended in with the crowd. I weaved through the throng of people until I spotted my brother sitting at a table. He was carefully writing his wish onto a sky lantern with his calligraphy brush. I hadn't decided what I wanted to write on mine yet.

I walked over to the table and waited for him to acknowledge my presence. "What is it, Rukia?" he finally raised his eyes at me.

I wasn't sure what to say. I hadn't really thought much of approaching him, but I should've known that I needed a reason for disrupting him. "I um…I was wondering when we were going to light the sky lanterns," I asked dumbly, even though I was well aware of the answer.

"In an hour," he replied. He resumed making quick brush strokes onto the lantern. "The knot of your obi is tied rather crudely. Please go find Yoruichi or Kiyone and ask them to fix it."

I blinked, unable to form a response.

"Quickly," he added.

I nodded curtly then turned away from him. I began to hastily walk in the opposite direction. I _couldn't _let Nii-sama see me shed any tears; that would only make him angry. I wasn't even sure why I felt so upset, he was never one to express warmth in his words to begin with.

I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my kimono and tried to find a place where I could be alone. The area was too crowded with little kids begging their parents to buy them lanterns. It seemed like everywhere I walked, people wanted to hug me, or praise me, or _whatever_.

"Rukia!"

"Hey Rukia!

"Oh _Ruuuukia_!"

I felt like I was going to puke. I lifted the hem of my kimono and simply _ran_. Colour and voices whirred past me as I blindly headed towards the Karakura tower.

"Rukia, where do you think you're going? You're supposed to be up on stage soon!" a frantic woman tried to grab at my wrist. I vigorously yanked my hand back and entered the tower's elevator. I quickly pushed a button to close the door. "Wait!" she cried out.

My back slammed against the wall of the elevator. I clutched the rails until my fingers hurt. How would Nii-sama react if he found out where I was? He'd kill me without hesitation. My hands were trembling now. The speed of the elevator going up wasn't helping the hammering in my chest either.

When I finally arrived at the top floor, the doors opened for me to exit. I walked outside and examined my surroundings. I was on an observation deck, and there were a couple of people looking through binoculars into the sky. When they spotted me, they had expressions on their faces that implied that I must be crazy.

I probably _did _look crazy with my stupid kimono and runny mascara.

I spotted a flight of metal stairs and decided to take those. As I scaled up the steps, I came across a small CAUTION gate, but I easily jumped over it. A million thoughts burst in my head as I ran. What was I supposed to do once I got up there? Jump off?

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of my body sailing across the sky and splattering into a glorious mess right in front of Nii-sama. Maybe he'd care then. _Or_ he'd just use my body as a footstool. Either way, it didn't matter anymore, I wasn't going to get engaged to some fool today.

When I got to the top, I hadn't expected to see somebody else there. "What the hell?" I heard myself say as I approached the figure.

A boy with bright orange hair was sitting on the ledge with his legs suspended above the city. He grabbed onto the ground in a startled manner and twisted his body to see me.

After getting a good look at his face, my heart started to thump wildly. He had the exact same facial features as _Kaien Shiba_, my old mentor. A rush of nostalgia made my body go numb. I thought I really _was _going to vomit this time.

I clutched my skirt nervously, a little surprised at how…handsome this guy was. I mean, his hair was orange for God's sake, I certainly wasn't expecting him to look like _that_. But for some reason, he was oddly familiar- aside from his similarity to Kaien that is. He stared at me with those determined puppy dog eyes. "Say something you fool!" I finally managed to choke out.

The boy raised his eyebrows.

"So, are all princesses rude as fuck, or is it just you?"

Of course he was going to be a douche bag, they all were. But admittedly, I was taken aback by how...disrespectful he was right off the bat. It was almost refreshing to be treated somewhat normally for once. I crossed my arms. But who was he to mouth at me like that? "Oh, _I'm _the rude one? And I'm not a _princess_ you moron."

He jumped up from his sitting position and pointed an accusatory finger at me. "_Yes_! I almost lost my balance because of you!"

I rolled my eyes, "Weren't you going to jump off anyway? I only would've sped up the process, besides, you're in my way."

His eyebrows furrowed. I was amused by how puzzled he looked. "Wait…you're not planning to _kill _yourself tonight are you?"

I flicked off a speck of dust on my arm. "What's it to you?"

His mouth opened, but he stumbled over his words. "But- but you're that Kuchiki girl! You can't just leap off a fucking building!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was so sick of everyone treating me like being a _Kuchiki _was the only thing that mattered about my existence. "Why not?" I snapped. To prove a point, I began to walk past him and towards the edge. Before I could take another step, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me backwards.

"Don't be impulsive," he growled.

I pulled my hand away from his grip. "Who do you think you are?"

He exhaled deeply. "Look, I'm sorry. But what the hell are you doing up here anyway?"

This guy was just a stranger, I wasn't about to just spill my guts out to him. "Because my rabbit died ," I said flatly. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to worry about Chappy after tonight because Kiyone always fed her.

"You're crazy."

"So I've heard." I blew the piece of hair in front of my face.

When his expression hardened, I finally realized where I'd seen him. How could I have missed it before?

"Wait, I know you! You're that guy who's dating that local model…Ori- Ori-"

"Orhime," he muttered. There was a tense look in his face.

"Yeah, Orihime Inoue! I can't believe how hypocritical you are for telling me not to jump 'cause last time I heard, you were getting pretty famous yourself _Ichigo Kurosaki_," I pointed out.

He was quick to cut in. "I'm not famous, alright? And we're not dating anymore." A scowl crept on his face. "You don't seem like the type who'd keep up with tabloids anyway."

I resented that he thought he _knew _me or something. "Oh so that's why you're up here, 'cause you're a heartbroken shmuck," I immediately hissed.

"Shut up!" He paused, then quickly added, "I mean, just tell me why you're really here damn it!"

I looked at him with bemusement. "None of your business."

"Wow you really _are _a brat. Why don't you just go back to your stupid ceremony and leave me the hell alone?" he snapped.

"I don't take orders from you! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be over there until you finally grow the balls to jump. Call me if you need someone to give you a starting push," I said sarcastically. I turned away from him and took a seat by the staircase.

His face twisted into a menacing glower. "Fine!"

"_Fine_!" I shouted back.


	2. II

**Notes: **Thanks for all the reviews, you guys are awesome :) **  
><strong>

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><p><strong>(ICHIGO)<strong>

**9:45 pm  
><strong>

There was a _reason_ why people didn't kill themselves in the company of others.

Wasn't the moment supposed to be a private one? I mean, the whole situation would just be really fucking uncomfortable- especially if this other person was a complete stranger.

So you can imagine why I couldn't just pirouette off the freakin' ledge like it was no big deal after she stormed off like that. I could practically feel her eyes boring into my neck.

Fifteen long minutes passed, and she was still sitting by the staircase looking all pitiful and oh-woe-is-me. When I stole a glance in her direction, she immediately averted her stare.

This Kuchiki girl was tiny, but she looked even smaller with her knees pulled up to her chin like that. I could see the length of her dark lashes flutter as she fixed her gaze to the ground. God, just _looking _at her was depressing.

I let out an exasperated sigh then finally stood up. I slowly began to make my way towards the spot in which she was curled up in. Her eyes still refused to meet mine.

Don't get me wrong, I still thought she was an annoying brat, but I didn't want her perpetual rain cloud to hover over the two of us anymore.

(And I couldn't help but feel a _little _bad about the way I yelled at her.)

I swallowed my pride. "Hey."

She looked up at me with those dumb, sad eyes. They made me feel like the biggest jerk alive.

And now that I had approached her, I realized that I didn't know what to say.

Hence making me sound like a bumbling idiot.

"Well I um- I shouldn't have- I mean- it's just that- argh, damn it!" I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. I hated how I sucked at apologies. It was one of those things that I could _never _get right for the life of me. "Look, err," I racked my brain for a polite way to address her. "- _Lady_ Kuchiki…I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier okay? I wasn't exactly in the brightest of moods."

Her enormous blue eyes blinked. "If you were, you wouldn't be here right now."

Point taken.

"Right…" I stuck my hand out for her. "Can we just- can we just start over?"

The shape of her lips curled upwards. "Don't call me Lady Kuchiki, my name is Rukia Kuchiki. _Just _Rukia Kuchiki."

"Okay Just Rukia Kuchiki, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki."

She grabbed my hand and pulled herself up. "Nice to meet you, Strawberry," she giggled.

I would've been mad at her, _should've _mentioned that this was a huge pet peeve of mine, but there was this stupid smile on her mouth that made me bite my tongue. It lit up her entire face like a Christmas tree.

You know those subconscious on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten-how-hot-is-she things that guys do to girls that we first meet? Yeah. Her dumb smile somehow made my previous rating of seven point six out of ten suddenly skyrocket to a ten out of ten.

I did all I could to hide the shame I felt from thinking this. It didn't help that the cold contributed to the flushed look on my face.

Rukia twirled towards the edge. She looked down and almost immediately took a nervous step back. "Maybe we should just, I don't know, jump at the same time. That way, neither of us will have to witness the aftermath of what happens after hitting the ground," she said softly.

I exhaled, still skeptical about why she wanted to do this. To be honest, I firmly believed that she wasn't going to go through with it.

"No way." I shoved my hands into my pockets. "People will think we had some romantic suicide pact going on or something."

She raised her eyebrows and let out a low whistle. "You mean even in death you still have an image to maintain? Now that's taking vanity to a whole new level," she said in a teasing tone.

I scowled, but couldn't come up with a clever retort. Of _all _the people I could've been stuck with up here, it just had to be her. God must really not like me after all. "I'm not the one who's all dressed up for the occasion," I pointed out accusingly.

She looked down at her extravagant attire.

Rukia lifted her hands and began to take out the golden pins in her hair. Each pin made a faint clinking noise as they hit the ground one by one. She shook her head to loosen the rest of the strands. After removing the last one, her slender fingers worked on untying the obi sash around her waist.

I widened my eyes. "H-Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

She paused, but only narrowed her eyes at me before resuming. I swallowed hard when the fabric loosened.

Here I was, all ready to cast away every ounce of feeling I had, so how could she was just stand there and try to sabotage that with her beguiling means of subliminal seduction? God damn it, I refused to give in to temptation! I was better than this! "Stop right there!" I cried out indignantly.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "_What _is your problem?" She didn't wait for my answer before she slipped out of the entire garment and let it drop to the floor.

"Aghh!" I slapped my hand over my eyes and stumbled backwards. I tripped over my own feet and fell to the floor. "Shit!"

My tailbone was probably in tears at this point.

"Ichigo." Rukia sounded close.

Oh God, what if she was naked? I scrambled a few inches back.

"_Ichigo_. Remove your hand," she ordered. Irritation was lacing up her voice.

I clenched my fingers even tighter.

Suddenly, I felt several rocks being pelted at my head. "Ow, ow, ow! What the hell?" I yelled. My hands instinctively moved up to protect my victimized brain.

"_Ichigo you fucking dumbass, get over yourself and just _open your eyes_ on that stupid shit-for-brains head of yours!_" This time her voice was shrill (and a little scary).

With reluctance, I slowly lifted my head to see Rukia looming over me. All bristling five feet of her. Covering her body was a dainty white nagajuban that clung loosely to her figure.

Right. I had forgotten about that layer.

Guess I was a little too busy focusing on other things...

Rukia continued to glower at me. For someone so short, she sure looked threatening.

I blinked, unsure of whether this was disappointment or relief I felt. But before I could react, another pebble hit my temple. I quickly jumped back up on my feet as the pain registered. "Hey what was _that _one for?" I growled sharply.

She placed her hands on her hips. "For being a perverted idiot! _As if _I would ever do such a thing…let alone with you! Jesus." She turned away in exasperation.

"Could've fooled me," I muttered under my breath.

A draft of wind swooped in from behind us. Rukia vigorously began to rub the sides of her arms. I rolled my eyes. Of course she was going to get cold. She should've thought of that before stripping her only source of warmth off. "I'd put that kimono back on if I were you," I said knowingly.

"I could hardly move in that thing, I'll be fine," she snapped.

Man, how stubborn _was _this girl?

**(RUKIA)**

**9:56 pm  
><strong>

A heavy mass of fabric landed on top of my head. I reacted almost immediately and tore it right off, angrily clutching the cloth in my right hand. "What the hell? I'm not your personal coat hanger!" I glared at him.

"Just _take _it will you? The chattering of your teeth is driving me crazy," he hissed insistently.

Oh.

My eyes fell on the black sweater. It was plain, but it had an inner fleece lining that felt really soft against my fingers. The cloth reeked of lavender and coconut though. I didn't even want to _think _about what he had been doing before he got here.

"What about you?" I looked at him with uncertainty. Ichigo had only been wearing a tee shirt underneath, and he was clearly freezing now.

He crossed his arms stiffly. "I'm not that cold, don't worry about me."

I shot him an annoyed look. "I'm not worried about you, it's just that it's _your _shirt," I said.

"Then what are you waiting for?" His mouth stretched into a grin. "_I_ don't want to be the one who has to deal with your body once it turns into an icicle."

I stared at him, puzzled about why he cared at all.

"Just wear it already! And quit looking at me like that! It's a sweater, not some rejuvenating life elixir," he snapped.

I nodded meekly and draped his zip-up over my shoulders. The fit was enormous on my petite frame, so I pulled it closer over my chest. It was still warm from him wearing it. "Thanks," I mumbled awkwardly.

He turned his head to face the cityscape. As pathetic as he looked, I could see that the longing in his eyes was real. I didn't know why he was up here tonight, and I wasn't sure if there was a way for me to ask without being intrusive. I took a few steps towards him. "Orihime isn't that much of a catch anyway, you'll find someone better," I said in my lame attempt at comfort.

Ichigo's hands curled into fists. "I'm not here because of Orihime," he said. "I broke up with her because she was too good. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. "

I stared at him in disbelief. The two of them were both unnaturally attractive, so _together_ they were like some atomic rainbow, firework spewing match made in heaven. She even shared the same hair colour as him. So in what way was she possibly 'too good'? In commitment? In her career? In _bed_?

"Too good how?" I pried on. I didn't mean to sound nosy, but I was genuinely curious.

He inhaled deeply. "Just _too_ _good_, like unicorns-and-butterflies-out-of-your-ass good. I swear, she even did her laundry with these sparkly rays of purity emitting from her pores."

"I'm serious," I deadpanned.

Ichigo grinned. "You think I'm kidding. But _okay_, Orihime gave her all in everything she did, but I couldn't love her the way she deserved to be loved."

Jeez, this guy really _was _a closet romantic. "Then why'd you get together in the first place?"

His hand rose to scratch the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought she was hot." He flashed me an embarrassed smile.

_And_ I spoke too soon.

I slowly sat down on the cold ground and looked at him as a signal to follow suit. "So what's your story Strawberry? I assume that you don't jump off towers for the hell of it."

"Would you stop calling me that? It makes me sound like some pansy-ass." Ichigo began to bend his knees. He crossed his legs as he took the spot in front of me. "And I asked you first! I mean, hate to break it to you, but you're _kind of _a big deal around here."

I looked away. "If you're so well informed about me, then you probably know why that festival down there is being held," I said quietly.

His eyes gazed over the edge. "Yeah." I could practically hear the cogs in his head start to turn. "I went there the year that girl collapsed from nerves or something like that. Everyone crowded around her and I was shoved to the front of the circle. The guy who proposed to her just fell to his knees and started _crying_. It was a bit too much for my eight year old self to handle."

My eyes widened as he said this. He was there that night?

I shifted uncomfortably and held his shirt tighter over my body. "It wasn't…nerves that caused her to faint."

He stared at me expectantly.

"She was my sister, Hisana...and she was really sick at the time. She died a few nights after my brother-in-law proposed."

Ichigo looked at me with a glazed expression. I guess I shouldn't have dropped this on him like that. I didn't expect people to know how to react when I told them about my sister. "It's okay," I quickly added. "It was a long time ago."

"I'm sorry," he kept his eyes on the floor.

"My brother was more affected by it. He really loved her. The only reason I'm a Kuchiki at all is because Hisana asked him to take care of me."

Normally, I wouldn't express my feelings to _anyone_, especially not to semi-celebrities whom I've acquainted myself with thirty minutes ago. But I wasn't going to see this guy ever again after tonight, so it's not like I had anything to lose. It felt good to release my pent up thoughts, and once I started, I couldn't stop.

"I think- I think he looks at me like the brat who's just a pale imitation of his bride. So I understand why he hates me so much," I said sharply.

"Hates you?"

"Hates me. If he found my corpse at the bottom of the tower, he'd cry out, 'What is this rotting body doing in the silk of our finest kimono? The blood is staining the fabric! Get it to the dry cleaners- _quickly_!' " I mimicked in a low voice.

Ichigo squinted his eyes at me. "Well thank God you removed the kimono then."

A laugh escaped my mouth. "Yeah."

"Are _you _in love?" he suddenly asked.

I lifted my head. "Huh?"

"Are you in _love_, with the guy you're getting engaged to? If your brother-in-law loved your sister, it wasn't some arranged marriage right?" he inquired.

I pulled my knees up. "Byakuya was…really influential. Hisana and I weren't even nobility. So yeah, I guess you're right."

Ichigo raised his eyebrows. "What about you?" he asked softly.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable. "I don't know," I whispered. I rested my cheek in the crook of my arm.

He frowned. "Maybe this Byakuya guy doesn't want you to go through the same thing he did. Arranged marriages are stupid, but I don't think he _hates _you."

I didn't respond when my eye caught a glimmer of light in the sky. I immediately shot up to get a better look.

The sky lantern danced with the wind and slowly billowed towards the moon. Soon, more carriages of light made their way up into the clouds. Their incandescence illuminated the night, like thousands of little fireflies floating in the air.

Ichigo got up as well, curious to what I was looking at. He turned around and widened his eyes at the sight. "Holy shit…"

I took in a deep breath. I witnessed the same thing every year, but it never looked as beautiful as it did now from above. I thought back to Byakuya's quick calligraphy strokes, and wondered what kinds of wishes were being thrown into the sky. I realized that I never got around to writing mine tonight.

"Well this is romantic," Ichigo said nonchalantly.

I elbowed his side. "Shut up."

"Maybe if we leap off now no one'll notice," he pointed out.

He was probably right, but neither of us took any steps closer to the edge. We continued to admire the infinite glow of the lanterns. I broke my stare to steal a glance at him. Golden flecks reflected in his eyes, and his solemn expression was impossible to read.

All of a sudden, an audible _ping _rang in both of our ears. We whirled around to see where the sound had come from. The doors of the authorized elevator were slowly sliding open.

I gasped as Kiyone Kotetsu stepped out through the doors. I froze. It was as if my knees had locked in place and couldn't move at all. "Rukia! There you are! Why the heck are you up here? Let's go, you're late for your-"

I felt a hand suddenly grip at my wrist and pull me towards the stairs. "Come on!" Ichigo began to drag me down the steps. When I finally registered what was happening, I quickly regained my balance to fall in sync with his pace.

We raced down the flight, and pushed past the people on the observation deck.

"Rukia! Where are you going?" she hollered as she chased after us.

When the two of us finally approached the elevator, Ichigo jabbed at the button impatiently. "Hurry up…" he growled. The arrow lit up and the doors began to open. "Yes!"

We scrambled inside and pushed another button to close the doors. Ichigo leaned over to catch his breath. We were both panting mercilessly from sprinting so hard.

"Why- are you- doing this for me?" I asked in between breaths.

He scoffed and turned his head. "Che, what makes you think that? I just remembered that I wanted to have my last grand meal before I leapt off."

A smile pulled at my lips. "You're really something else."

Once we arrived at the bottom, we carefully made our way outside. The crisp air grazed my face like a sheet of frozen ice.

We wasted no time to run into the night. My heart felt like it was going to explode with fear and passion as my legs tried to keep up with Ichigo's.

I was really scared.

But at the same time, I was also a little excited.


	3. III

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. Oh, and I don't own Bunnicula either.  
><strong>Notes: <strong>For the record, Rabbit Cafés do exist ('cause yannoe, Japan has everything over there). **  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>(ICHIGO)<strong>

**10:10 pm  
><strong>

I hadn't planned on descending the tower so soon. At least not by the stairs anyway.

It's not like I had a sudden will to live. I didn't feel as though I've reached some divine sense of fulfillment. And I certainly didn't fall in fucking love.

But when I turned around and saw the look on Rukia's face, I didn't _think _either- I just grabbed her by the wrist and booked it because I knew she didn't want to be here. It was like I had embodied the mentality of a less-buff version of Superman. I _needed _to get her out of there. The feeling clawed at my neck and I'd regret it forever if I didn't.

I mean, how much would it suck to be sent straight to Hell right after I selfishly threw myself off and left her to fend for herself?

The expression that had befallen Rukia should be downright illegal. It was this mix of pure terror and surprise cast over her enormous (did I mention _enormous_?) midnight eyes. Now multiply that by a thousand and you'll know why I couldn't just throw her a peace sign and say, "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!"

Upon reaching the ground level, we immediately began to sprint in a blind direction (North? South? East? West? I didn't have a damn clue; I don't think she did either). The beating in our chests sped up along with the cadenced thumps of our footsteps.

I wasn't sure how far we ran, but I could see that Rukia was starting to breathe harder and stride slower. I stopped altogether when she began to stagger behind me. "Hey are you alright?" I called out. She stumbled as she approached me. I held out my arms in attempt to steady her, but she managed to stay standing.

"I'm fine," she coughed out. Her eyes glanced around to speculate our surroundings. "Where are we?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. You tell me."

Rukia muttered something along the lines of, "_Useless_," as she made her way towards the intersection of the road. "Never mind that. Where are we going?"

I scratched my head in annoyance. "Look_ Lady_, we were being hunted down by a couple of noble guards just now, how the hell was I supposed to plan a destination route while running for my life?"

She stifled a giggle. "For your _life _huh?"

Maybe I should've just stranded her on the roof after all.

"Let's just figure out where the hell we are first," I scowled impatiently as I read the street signs. "Maybe we can ask someone in one of these stores…" I turned around, but she was nowhere in sight. "Rukia?"

Where had that brat disappeared to?

I darted past the wandering insomniacs, frantically trying to catch a glimpse of a short girl with raven black hair. How the hell did she slip away like that? This wasn't how my night was supposed to go. I was _supposed _to be at the bottom of the tower right now. Bruised and battered.

But instead, I was on a wild goose chase with a girl who was simply too everything.

Too noble. Too cute. Too annoying.

Too _much_.

I wasn't even sure if I liked her or not.

_The point being_: I was still very much alive- and I still didn't want to be.

I finally spotted the movement of her sheer white kimono slip among a group of people milling around. Rukia had her hands and forehead pressed against the window of a coffee shop. The warm glow emitting from inside reflected onto her face.

Jesus, was she sheltered in a cave her whole life or what? She was acting as if she'd never seen a café up close before.

As I approached her, I crouched down to her height to see what she was ogling at. "God damn it Rukia, you could at least _say _something before you run off like that…" My voice trailed off as my eyes shifted to the window.

Behind the glass were litters of miniature, fluffy bunnies.

I kid you not.

Round little rabbits hopped across the wooden floorboards in staccato leaps. They rolled around and played with one another like the dumb animals they were. "What the hell…"

Rukia suddenly looked up at me with these _really _sparkly eyes. "Can we go inside? Pleeease?"

If I wasn't so freaking thirsty I never would've agreed. But there I was, agreeing to enter this stupid "Rabbit Café." (Believe it or not but that's what the sign said).

My first thought when entering the place was, '_This can't be sanitary'_. But as I stepped in further, it finally sunk in that, '_I am walking into a room full of God forsaken rabbits.' _

Call me a pussy all you want, but it is not a laughing matter when I say that rabbits scared the crap out of me.

Flashback to nine years ago. Me sitting on a couch watching some documentary on the Discovery Channel.

The guy behind the camera goes, "Two hares in their natural habitat face one another. The rabid male jackrabbit now prepares to pounce on its female competitor. It appears that the viral disease has already affected the male jackrabbit's salivary glands. Notice how there is saliva already beginning to foam at the mouth! My that is a lot of saliva…ahem, the two rodents raise their paws to strike one another. Hare boxing is common, but if this rabid jackrabbit decides to sink its teeth- oh here we go. The infected rabbit has now bitten into the flesh of its female competitor. The viral disease will most likely transfer to the female. Oh- the rabid jackrabbit is really working on tearing her skin apart. He's definitely digging his teeth in there alright. This violent behaviour is most uncommon in rabbits…"

Now back on the couch, a younger me is sitting there with a pretzel hanging from my mouth as I watched in trepidation.

My little sister Karin still teases me about my irrational fear of rabbits to this day. It didn't help that my old man bought me that dumb _Bunnicula _book for my ninth birthday. (Really dad? Vampiric bunnies?)

So walking into the Rabbit Café was just a trigger to my traumatizing experience with the Nature Network. As I began to take a few steps back, Rukia practically dove for one of the fuzzy fur-balls. She started to preen and coo at the thing in that annoying high-pitched voice that girls did.

"Aww! You're a little cutie aren't you? Yes you are you cutie-patootie! _Awww_!"

A girl came running towards us with her hands outstretched to the rabbit that Rukia was coddling. "Hairclip! You naughty rabbit!" the lady scolded.

The rabbit's name was _Hairclip_? What the fuc-

"I'm sorry, when we opened the doors to the petting room, Hairclip just dashed right out of there!" She took Hairclip back into her arms. "Table for two?"

"Yeah," I said. She seated us in one of the tables closest to the petting room. When I glanced at Rukia, she looked like she had died and gone to _heaven_.

If heaven was some warped bunny vortex I mean.

When _Rangiku Matsumoto_- according to her nametag- handed us the menus, she suddenly opened her mouth and gasped. I looked around to see what she was so excited about. She pointed at me. "I know you! You're that adorable boyfriend of Orihime Inoue's! Oh you guys are just _so _perfect for each other! She's an absolute darling, but you're even _cuter_ in person!" she exclaimed.

I could see Rukia in my peripheral vision with a smirk on her face. I shot her a threatening glare before responding to Rangiku's squeal. "We're not dating anymore," I muttered under my breath. I hated that I had to repeat myself to every single person who recognized me.

Rankgiku's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh you poor, poor thing! C'mere you," she wrapped her arms around my head and pressed my face up against her exposed cleavage. I could practically _feel _my cheeks turning every possible shade of red.

"I- can't- breathe," I choked out. But it sounded more like, "Errgh kerrgh berrgh!"

Once she finally released me from her talons, I inhaled a deep breath.

Then she gasped _again_, but I was prepared this time- I ducked for cover.

"And _you're _that girl from the noble Kuchiki family! Would you please tell your brother that he's absolutely _gorgeous _for me? This is so exciting!" Rangiku squealed. "I'll leave you two for now, call me whenever you're ready to order!" She winked at us before strutting over to the next table.

I picked up a menu and absent-mindedly flipped through its pages. "I'm not sure, but I think I was just sexually harassed," I said dryly.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "As if. You totally enjoyed that. Anyway, what are you ordering?" she leaned towards me.

I scoffed. "You know, when I said I wanted to have my last grandiose meal, a dinky little cafe wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Oh shut up, I really want to go see the petting room," she said.

I gave her a bemused look. "Demanding little princess aren't you?"

She kicked me from under the table. Spasms of pain shot up my leg when her foot collided into my shin. My knee immediately hit the table, causing me to experience even _more _agony. I crouched over to hold my bruised limb. "Can you stop abusing me?" I cried out. "It hurts you know!"

"As it should," she snapped.

I scowled at her, but she was already looking through the menu. I began to read through mine as well. The silly little bunny drawings that bordered each page were extremely distracting.

It appeared that they were very consistent with their rodent theme.

Rabbit shaped mochi cakes? Bunnysicles?

_Chappycinnos_?

What has the world come to?

**(RUKIA)**

**10:30 pm**

Honestly, I wanted _everything _on the menu. From the rabbit stencilled crepes to each flavour of the adorable bunnypops.

But I had already eaten, so I probably couldn't stomach any more food. Besides, I could hardly contain my excitement about going to the petting room after. I'd probably just inhale all the food. Our waitress came back several moments later.

Rangiku took out a notebook and pen from her breast pocket. "So what can I get you two love doves?" she chirped.

"We're not love doves!" Ichigo and I both cried out in unison.

"Whatever you say," she sang with a wink.

I fumed and slammed both my hands on the table. The thought of me and Ichigo was ridiculous.

"I'm serious. Even if the entire male species died off from some testicular cancer and Ichigo here was the only dope who remained immune, I _still _wouldn't look at him that way. In fact, if we were the last two people on _Earth _and it was up to us to revive the human race I-"

"We get the picture! The feeling is mutual by the way," Ichigo interrupted rudely.

I crossed my arms in a huffy manner.

"I'll just have a regular black coffee," he said.

"Ooh, how very masculine of you!" Rangiku gushed. She turned to face me. "What about you sweetie?"

I could see the hint of red on Ichigo's face. It was all quite amusing actually. "A Chappyccino for me would be good," I said.

Rangiku pouted. "Aww, you're not going to try any of our food? Alright then, two drinks coming right up!" She closed her book and headed towards the kitchen.

Ichigo began to fiddle with the salt and pepper shakers. "It figures that you'd get a cappuccino," he said.

"A _Chappy-_"

"Yeah, _Chappyccino_, whatever."

"And why's that?" I inquired.

"Cappuccino drinkers are supposed to be really bubbly and-"

"You think I'm bubbly?" I beamed.

"-materialistic, as well as shallow, maybe a little airheaded-"

I quickly cut in. "And _where _are you getting this information from?" I scowled. "What about you _Mr. Masculine_?" I began to wave me hands dramatically. "_Hey look at me, I'm Ichigo. So tall and strong, duh huh huh_."

"Tall and strong eh?" Ichigo said smugly.

Ugh, how infuriating. "Shut up, I was mocking you. And black coffee is disgusting," I pointed out.

"Rangiku doesn't think so," he smirked. "And sheesh I was just playing with you. Apparently cappuccino drinkers are well-liked and outgoing too."

I felt my face flush. "You sure have a lot of time on your hands."

We both looked at Rangiku as she came back holding two cups. "Here you go," she said as she slid the cups in front of us. "Call me if you need anything else!"

I looked down at my drink. There was a cute little bunny head outlined by the creamy froth on the surface. This was officially my favourite place ever.

I took a sip before glancing up at Ichigo. He had already stirred his bunny foam into oblivion. "What's it like to be famous?" I piped up curiously.

He blinked. "I told you before, I'm not famous."

"Complete strangers recognize you, I'd say that's pretty darn famous. Come on, you used to date _Orihime Inoue_, she's on all those magazine covers and stuff," I said softly. A hint of self-consciousness washed over me.

Ichigo tightened his grip on his cup. "Yeah, well, _she _was famous. People just followed me around because they liked that I liked her."

"I swear I saw you in one of those ten page spread things posing with Orihime somewhere. You seemed pretty model-esque to me," I said teasingly.

He averted his eyes, but I caught the embarrassed look on his face. "I had to be physically dragged out of my house for that shoot. Believe me, I have the battle scars to prove it," he scoffed.

I wasn't surprised that people wanted to take photos of him. He was undeniably handsome, the kind of handsome you wanted to capture and keep inside your pocket.

I finally put my cup down. "I don't get it."

He gave me a puzzled look."Don't get what?"

I sighed. "Why you'd want to end your life. Everyone_ loves_ you. You'd be really selfish to want to hurt all those people."

Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed. "I have 'Orihime's Boyfriend' permanently stapled on my forehead. They don't 'love' me."

I narrowed my eyes. "But is that really so bad? All of that will pass over at some point. What about your friends and family?" I pushed on.

Ichigo was quiet for a moment. I could tell that this got him thinking.

His face suddenly twisted into an annoyed expression. "Well you're the freakin' heir of the Kuchiki clan, you're as valuable as us human beings get. How do you think the entire _Karakura Town _will react if they found your dead body on the pavement?"

I felt my chest constrict. That was unfair. The people of Karakura didn't know me personally; if I died, they'd boo-hoo for maybe a day or two then move on. I was rarely allowed to leave my house, let alone meet new people. Byakuya never even _looked _at me unless he absolutely had to. Ichigo seemed like the type of person who had star-on-the-tree Christmas dinners, and full turkey Thanksgiving meals with his family.

"No one would miss me," I said firmly.

His gaze intensified. "Quit with the melodrama, there's plenty of people who'll weep over your death bed," he rolled his eyes.

I gripped the cushion of my chair. "Like my brother who'd rather kill me himself? Or all those people who tolerate me only because they loved Hisana? _Why_ would you throw your life away if you're constantly surrounded by nothing but admiration?"

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Because I wanted a life of my own, but I couldn't do anything with all those God damned _people_ chasing me around," he exclaimed through grit teeth.

He slammed his drink back down on the table as well.

It made me sick to think about how pathetically lonely I was. Even Yoruichi and Kiyone only stuck with me probably because Byakuya asked them to.

_And I had ruined my relationship with the only person who ever made me feel alive._

…_Kaien…_

I covered my ears and shook my head. "Shut up Ichigo, just shut up. You think life is so hard because people _like_ you? Well that's a load of bullshit. Think about how it might feel to have no one truly like you. _Then _you can mourn." I shot up from my seat and made a beeline for the door.

Once I made it outside, I leaned my back against the window of the café. I hugged myself to keep warm. The dozens of fireflies that danced around the street lamps made faint buzzing noises.

I hated how I was such an emotional wreck. It was even worse that Ichigo had to witness this terrible side of me. He was probably grumbling about how much of a bitch I was for leaving him with the tab back inside.

What did I even want from Ichigo anyway? For him to overlook my status and forgive me for being me? I felt like an idiot for even hoping for such a thing from a stranger. We were only seeking solace in one another. We fed off of each others misery. All of it was just too fucking depressing.

I began to walk up the street. I didn't have enough money to call a taxi, nor was I sure about where I was going, but maybe I could haggle a bag of chips from the convenient store. When I spotted a Kara-Mart up ahead, I sped up my pace a bit. I stopped in front of the store and lifted my hand to pull open the door.

My fingers looked blue from the cold. I could only hope that this run-down looking shack had electric heating.

I suddenly felt a sure grasp on my arm.

"Rukia."

Fuck.

I whirled around and looked up to see Ichigo. His grip burned a hole in my skin, but I was shivering.

"If you want me to pay you back, I promise I will," I swallowed. I tried to pull away from him, but he held on. I didn't _want_ him to see me in such a fragmented state.

"Idiot," he chided. "You're still wearing my sweater."

I looked down at his baggy zip up. Oh.

I blushed. "Sorry. Here," I began to slip one arm out of the sleeve.

"I didn't say that I wanted it back yet," Ichigo said. His expression softened. "You're supposed to be optimistic, all cappuccino drinkers are." A grin out broke on his face.

I wanted to punch him for being so nice. I wanted to kiss him for being so nice. I started to cry.

Ichigo put his arm around my head. He didn't seem to notice that I was soaking his shirt with tears and probably snot. Or if he did, he didn't point it out.

God, this was so humiliating.

* * *

><p>Forgive me for totally twisting their personalities into little OOC monsters. Of course I love the original Ichigo and Rukia, but this is just too fun :P Please leave review, I'd like to know what I can improve on! In the meantime, I'll work on improving my sucky pacing haha<p>

Also, I'm aware that rabbits rarely contract rabies. But all that matters is that it's possible...:D


	4. IV

**Notes: **All you lovely people who left reviews/favourited/alerted this story are positively _sexy_ ;)

* * *

><p><strong>(ICHIGO)<strong>

**10:42 pm**

I didn't expect to see Rukia cry.

Witnessing this made me panic a little inside. The Rukia _I_ was familiar with certainly didn't show cracks of vulnerability.

The moment she broke down like that, I instinctively wrapped my arm around her. Growing up with two sisters taught me a thing or two about weepy females. They wanted comfort, but I couldn't mask the surprise on my face when Rukia willingly crumpled into me.

She was so fucking fragile, I was afraid that I was going to break her.

I wanted to know why she felt the way that she did, but I couldn't bring myself to ask any questions. When my arm accidentally grazed the back of her neck, I felt the icy surface of her skin (and _holy shit_ she was freezing).

Rukia was still shaking when she broke away from me. "I'm sorry," she looked up apologetically.

I scoffed. "For what?" Of course I had to be somewhat sensitive to her feelings, but I couldn't help but think that yeah, you _should _be sorry for running off like that! I practically kicked my chair down back at the café to chase after her (I had to throw money at Rangiku as I took off- but I don't think she appreciated it much). If Rukia ended up on the streets as road kill or worse, the noble Kuchikis would arrest my ass for sure.

She chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "Your tee shirt."

I creased my eyebrows. "What?"

Rukia took a moment to respond. "I cried all over it," she winced.

I looked down at the tear stained fabric of my shirt. "Wait, _that's _what you're apologizing for?" I exclaimed in disbelief. After making me fret over her little escapade and then having to watch her snivel like that?

She squinted her eyes at me. "What else would I be sorry for?"

I opened my mouth to retort, but quickly decided to let it go. "Just- never mind," I exhaled. I lifted my arms to enclose both of her hands in mine. She shot me a quizzical look, but remained quiet. I brought her hands to my mouth so I could blow warm air into them.

My mother always did that for me when I was a kid.

I immediately shoved my hands back into my pockets after. "Let's just find a place with heating so we can thaw out."

Her cheeks were flushing a poppy red, so I didn't want to keep her outside in the cold for too long.

Rukia began to peer around.

I looked through the glass door behind her. "We can still grab some snacks if you want, since you were going to go in there anyway," I suggested.

Her face lit up. "Okay!" She spun around and opened the door to enter the Kara-Mart.

Once we were inside, the stale stench of expired food immediately wafted into my nostrils. Our only source of light was the flickering fluorescent panels that hung above us. Moths fluttered around the bulbs in grey and white clusters. The heat would occasionally singe their wings and their bodies would then drift to the floor. Rukia almost stepped on one.

There was a sad looking boy sitting at the cash register. He was openly flipping through a porn magazine with a bored expression on his face. The guy must not get a lot of customers. When he raised his eyes and spotted Rukia, a disturbing grin suddenly crept up his mouth. She immediately stiffened and began to walk faster.

"It's a little…dank in here, don't 'cha think?" I commented as we strolled through the aisles. She walked a little closer to me.

"Dank is an understatement; let's hurry up," she whispered harshly.

Did horror movies ever take place in creepy convenient stores?

We stopped at the chips and candy racks to browse through the rows of snacks. Rukia was quickly shuffling through the rabbit packaged sweets. I rolled my eyes at this. What was her deal with bunnies anyway? I turned around and held up two packets of candy to her face.

"Pretz or Pocky?" I proposed.

She scowled and shoved them away. "Just pick one would you? I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."

I narrowed my eyes. "Fine, I'll choose myself then- and you won't get any." I placed them back on the rack and started to wave my index finger back and forth. "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, catch a tig-"

Rukia threw her hands up and snatched the Pocky from the rack. "Pocky okay? Please!"

I grinned. "You still don't get any."

She shot me a chilly glower. I took a step back and almost tripped over my own feet. "Okay! You can eat some, jeez!" I exclaimed. The little brat smiled triumphantly.

She grabbed a bar of Chappy chocolate before we began to examine the rows of chips. As I scanned the different flavours, an irritating squeaking noise suddenly pierced through my ears. I looked down to see Rukia scrunching each bag to see the amount of air in them.

I cringed at the noise. "Can you- can you stop that?"

She gave me a confused look. "Why? I'm checking the quantity of chips per bag." Now she seemed upset, but she didn't stop.

I gave her an annoyed look. "Can you check bag quantity elsewhere? The sound gives me the shivers."

"What, you mean this?" Rukia deliberately crumpled the material harshly. I slapped my hands over my ears; I could feel my insides squeaking.

"And you claim that _you're _the mature one!" I hissed over the noise. She immediately stopped. I let the sweet sound of silence surround me.

"You're one to talk." She turned away from me with her nose in the air. I let her be and grabbed two barbeque flavoured packages of chips. Rukia didn't stray too far from me, probably in fear of that man behind the counter. She came back with a salt and vinegar package in hand. I scrunched my face up in disgust.

"Salt and vinegar? You know there's something that tastes like that for free- it's called the ocean," I grimaced.

Rukia shoved the bag along with her other crap to my chest. I winced from the crunch. "Whatever, just buy these for me okay? I'll pay you back when I get the money. I'm going to make some coffee."

She didn't give me a chance to protest before she sped off. "Okay, your highness," I muttered.

I didn't need her to pay me back though…unless she had forgotten why we were in this predicament in the first place. Even though she was a royal pain in the ass ninety percent of the time, I couldn't just let Rukia throw her life away. She _was _the heir to the Kuchiki family after all; she had too much to live for. I decided that my last task of the night would be to get her home safely. The nobles could do whatever they wanted with the twerp once I brought her in.

I just needed to be subtle about it until she calmed down. She'd probably get angry at me for leading her back to the Kuchiki Manor, but I'll be physically gone from this world before she can give me a piece of her mind.

I grabbed a couple of chocolate bars before heading towards the cash register. I unloaded all the stuff onto the surface of the counter. The employee was even _more_ unfortunate looking up close, if that was possible. He had greasy shoulder length hair and yellowing teeth to match. 'Makizo' didn't look too pleased to assist me.

_Your mother must regret ever conceiving you_.

"What was that?" he asked in a nasally voice.

Crap, did I say that out loud? "Huh? Nothing," I quickly piped up.

Makizo slowly scanned each item one by one. I swallowed hard when I spotted the small box of _tampons _hidden in the depths of the chip bags and candy bars. What the hell?

As he scanned the last of the junk food, he lifted the little box and brought it close to the red light.

"Those aren't mine!" I instinctively burst out, slamming my hand down on the counter.

Makizo raised an eyebrow. "Clearly," he said in a flat tone. He frowned and tried scanning it again when it beeped. "Huh. Something must be wrong with this one. Could you go grab another package for me?"

God damn it Rukia!

I plastered a forced smile on my face and nodded. I stepped to the side and proceeded to scan the racks in the store for a similar box. I finally found the small section labeled 'feminine hygiene'.

Oh God.

She definitely wasn't getting any of the Pocky now.

I looked over all the boxes. Why were there so freakin' many? I couldn't comprehend why some were labeled 'regular.' Were there such things as _ir_regular packs? And what were absorbency ratings? Was cardboard or plastic better? _Why the hell did they come in different sizes_?

Right when I thought I was about to have a heart attack from frustration, Rukia poked her head in the section. "Ichigo? I thought you were purchasing the items," she said as she started to walk towards me.

I glared at her. "Yeah- I was, until the bar code of your pearl tip, extra absorbency, one hundred percent cotton,package of_ girl corks_ failed on me!" I spat out as I stumbled backwards.

Rukia's hand suddenly extended out towards me. "Ichigo!" She widened her eyes.

I didn't have time to process her warning when I crashed into a stand full of magazines and knocked the entire rack to the floor. The glossy issues all flew up in the air and landed violently on the ground. Subscription cards fluttered around me as I landed in a sprawled position. "Ow…" I winced. Heavy footsteps thundered in our direction as the pain from the impact began to settle in.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Captain Dandruff shouted furiously as he stormed towards us. He pointed a finger at me. "You, out of my store! _Now_!"

"Fool!" Rukia hissed at me. Did _she _have to yell at me too?

When Makizo heard her voice, his expression immediately lit up. "Why hello there little lady," he chirped suavely as he stepped over me to approach her.

"Hey!" I scowled.

"Is that man bothering you?" he asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

She glanced at me, then back at Makizo. A teary eyed expression washed over her face. "Yes!" she cried out dramatically. "I only wanted to buy the last Chappy Bar, but he snatched it away from my hands before I could even head to the cash register!"

Great, so I was a mugger now? I drummed my fingers impatiently against the floor.

"Don't worry, I'll get rid of this vile brute for you," Makizo said zealously. He grabbed a nearby mop and began to swing at me. "Be gone you vulgar barbarian!"

He was _really _trying to strike me!

When he missed the second time, he raised his leg to prepare a kick. I scrambled back on my feet and darted out through the exit before he could take a hit. "You're insane!" I hollered as I slammed the glass door behind me. I paused to catch a breath before I leaned against the bus stop pole. My arms crossed in exasperation.

Two minutes went by.

Five minutes.

Six minutes.

I began to feel restless when _several_ minutes passed and Rukia was _still _inside. She was sure taking her sweet time.

But soon after, I heard bells tinkle.

I immediately straightened my posture when she came back outside with two plastic bags in her hands. "What took you so long?" I snapped. But I couldn't hide the relief on my face to see that that Makizo pervert hadn't mauled her or anything like that.

She handed me one of the plastic bags. "Your stupid Pocky," she said bitterly.

I took it. "Jeez, what happened to _you_?"

"I had to spend an extended amount of time with that freak!" she exclaimed.

"At least you weren't _literally _kicked out of the store."

"Well _you _weren't forced to touch his sword and his guns," she retorted.

I widened my eyes. What the _fuck_? I placed both of my hands on her shoulders and shook her. "What the hell happened in there?" I cried out.

"I told you, he made me stroke his sword. I've never seen one that long before-"

That's it. I was going to snap that perverted bastard's head off.

"You're a dead man you fucking lowlife!" I snarled angrily as I began to make my way towards the door, but Rukia pushed me back before I could even reach for the handle.

"Why are you so upset?" she exclaimed with wide eyes.

I clenched the sides of her arms in aggravation. Why _wasn't _she upset? "Because he forced you to touch his-"

"-_model _guns and sword!" Rukia interrupted me. A gasp escaped her mouth as she processed the situation. "Oh my God, you didn't think that…"

I dropped my grip on her. "You must be kidding me," I said through clenched teeth.

A meek smile tugged at her lips. "He kept his model gun and sword collection in the back of the store. I guess he thought showing them to me would be impressive or something. He was all, '_Go ahead, feel their authenticity_'…I think…he was trying to be sexy," she shrugged.

I inhaled a deep breath and slowly released it. "Rukia. Next time you try to explain something like that…_don't _use words like_ 'stroke' _damn it!" I growled.

A full-out grin stretched on her face. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were actually worried about me," she simpered smugly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'd be worried for anyone in the wake of that cretin."

She ignored me. "I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself you know."

I looked at her tiny frame and raised my eyebrows.

**(RUKIA)**

**11:16 pm**

"I bet you're not even five feet tall. What can _you_ possibly do?" he scowled.

I leaned in closer to inspect Ichigo's expression.

He looked away.

I sighed. "Okay, _thank you _for looking out for me. But for your information, I can do some pretty amazing things- like snag all of these snacks for _free_ with my charming benignity."

"Charming my ass," Ichigo said dismissively as he tore open a package of chips. He began to devour its contents like a true troglodyte. It took him a second to realize that he had grabbed my salt and vinegar chips by accident. He immediately spat them out and wiped his tongue with the back of his hand. "I think I just puked a little," he drawled in disgust.

I grabbed the bag from his hands. "More for me then. Can we get out of here?"

Ichigo scanned our surroundings. I also looked around, but almost all the stores had their lights turned off.

"Um, you like rabbits, right?" he asked.

**-x-**

I stared in disbelief.

"_Very_ clever, Ichigo," I said dryly.

Our eyes were both transfixed on the two burlesque dancers in front of us. The couple of busty women were dressed in skimpy rabbit suits that consisted of collars and bunny ears. Less emphasis on the 'suit' part though, the ratio of skin to cloth was alarming. One girl was wagging her fluffy tail at Ichigo.

He yawned and gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry, it's getting late. It was only the place with an OPEN sign- woah! How is she _doing _that?"

I tilted my head and eyed the girl who had her toned legs stretched in a questionable position. "I'll get back to you when I find out," I said sarcastically.

He bit his lips. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself kiddo-"

I stomped on his foot. He yelped out in pain. "Speaking of which- what did you say to that bouncer who let us into this bar anyway?" I asked curiously.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Perks of being Orihime Inoue's ex-boyfriend?"

"Ah," I nodded knowingly. "Is being stared at like a piece of meat also a side effect of B.O.I.E.B.?" I lifted my chin to acknowledge the girl behind him.

Ichigo looked over his shoulder to see what I was addressing. He quickly shifted his gaze back on me.

"She's mentally undressing you," I pointed out blatantly.

"Well, B.O.I.E.B is this disease I've been diagnosed with that just might be terminal. Its symptoms include crazy girls who prevent me from going on dates without having my date impaled by the stiletto heel of a lunatic," he said flatly. "Any suggestions for a cure?"

I tapped my chin in thought. "Hm, maybe if you mussed up your hair a little- that just might do the trick. Girls won't chase after slobs."

Ichigo raised both his hands and ruffled his bright orange hair. "Like this?" he flashed me a shy smile.

Holy fuck.

What have I done?

I did all I could to refrain from reaching over and running my hands over his tousled hair. Okay,_ calm down_ hormones.

Even though he was a boy, it was still colossally unfair that he could rumple his hair like that and _still _look good, if not better.

I lamely gave him a thumbs-up. "Just trying to raise awareness for B.O.I.E.B.," I said weakly.

Ichigo began to laugh. "She was staring at _you_, idiot. She's probably removing her shoe right now to launch at your face."

I crossed my arms. "Yeah, I'm sure she wants to claw my eyes out for breathing the same air as the great Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Nah, I don't think it's a side effect of my disease this time. She's only jealous of you because you're so god damn at- " he paused then swallowed. "-annoying."

"She's jealous of me…because I'm annoying," I repeated slowly.

He quickly waved his hand to call on the bartender. Ugh, how immature could he get?

An extremely tall boy with fire-engine red hair sauntered to our side of the counter. He had intimidating tattoos inked on his forehead as well as down his neck. There was a menacing scowl on his face.

"He seems nice," I whispered meekly to Ichigo. But he was too busy sizing this guy up to hear me. I gave the bartender a sympathetic look.

"I'll have a bottle of beer," Ichigo ordered.

"And I'll have a bottle of ID, chump. You don't look a day over seventeen," the bartender replied mockingly.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Look _pineapple head_, I left my wallet at home."

"Then how'd you get in here in the first pla- _Rukia Kuchiki_?"

Great, the last thing I needed was to be fussed over by some annoying spectator of the noble families. "No, but people tell me that I look like the heir to the Kuchiki family all the ti- Renji Abarai?" I gasped.

Ichigo shot me a puzzled look. "Wait, you _know_ this guy?"

I didn't even recognize Renji with all those new tattoos. "I haven't seen you in forever…" I said quietly.

Renji's expression softened. "Wow you've…really grown up Rukia," he breathed out.

"Yeah, you too," I said lamely. This was getting increasingly awkward.

He stuck a thumb out towards Ichigo. "So who's this carrot-top over here? Doesn't seem like someone _Byakuya _would approve of," he snickered.

So he was still bitter. I couldn't blame him. "Hey who are you calling a carrot-top?" Ichigo growled with hostility. He stood up and gripped the ledge with both hands. I stuck out a hand in front of Ichigo's face to stop him from making a scene.

"Don't mind Ichigo, he's just some boy I met," I said nonchalantly.

Ichigo sat back down and began to fume. Renji ignored him as he wiped a glass with a dish towel. "Rukia, we should hang out again like old times! I'm sure you can make your own decisions _now_," he piped up. He had a hopeful look in his eyes.

I averted my stare. It made my heart hurt to see that expression again. "I'm…not sure if I can."

Not if I was still planning to end my life. I looked over at Ichigo. He probably thought that I had forgotten all about our circumstances, but the notion of death was still lingering in the back of my head. Seeing Renji again made me even angrier at Nii-sama for how he treated everyone.

Renji dolefully furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?" he pressed on.

I shifted in my stool. "Because…" I couldn't form the words in my mouth.

"Because you're still listening to that brother of yours with the stick up his ass? Come on Rukia, _live_ a little," he said with annoyance lacing up his voice.

Boy, he had _no _idea.

"I don't want Byakuya to hurt you too," I said softly.

He crumpled the towel into a tight ball. "I'm not scared of him anymore, I can take him on!" He held up one index finger. "Just give me _one_ chance and maybe I can convince him that I'm not that reckless, dirty, street kid anymore."

"Renji!" I squeezed my eyes shut.

He didn't stop. "Look we can go to that park you always liked and catch up on each other's lives-"

"I'm getting engaged okay?"

He froze. His expression slowly began to fall. "Oh. Who's…the lucky guy?"

"You wouldn't know him. And I have responsibilities now, I don't have time to roll around in mud with you anymore okay?" I snapped. But once those words left my lips, I immediately regretted it. "Look Renji, I've missed you-"

"Well you sure have an odd way of showing it," he said sharply.

A shrill whistle was suddenly heard from the other side of the counter. Renji gave me one last glazed over look before turning away to cater the other customers.

Ichigo took a deep breath. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll just sit here and watch a porno unfold in front of my very eyes," he said chided sarcastically.

I glared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You two were practically fucking each other with your eyes."

I raised an eyebrow. "We were not 'fucking each other' with our eyes, as you so elegantly put it. He was my best friend okay?" I held the sides of my arms uneasily.

More like my _only _friend. I met Renji in the slums of Karakura Town when I was ten years old. This was before Byakuya made our manor a dungeon…before Hisana had died. I was only allowed to leave the house with a bodyguard, so I would always sneak out on my own to find Renji. Even though the slums were frightening, I never felt scared because he was always there to protect me. He was one of the few people that _actually _made me feel safe.

Ichigo scoffed. "Well, _he_ was looking at you like a pathetic love-sick puppy. Did something happen between you two?" he asked.

I propped my elbows up on the table and rested my chin on my palms. I blew my bangs up in an exasperated manner. "When Byakuya found out that we were friends, he gave Renji a very convincing death threat that if he ever visited me again, he would slice his head off. God, we were only thirteen, _of course_ Renji would think that he'd actually get the guillotine for seeing me."

Ichigo let out a low whistle at peered over at Renji. "Well screw what your brother wants. Why did you shoot the guy down after he _pret-ty much _just asked you out?"

I looked down and fumbled with the fabric of my kimono slip. I shouldn't have said those words to Renji, because I genuinely loved every minute we spent together. But if I gave him false hope of ever seeing him again, it would only hurt him more. "Our relationship…wasn't like that," I said in protest.

"Poor schmuck," he said.

"_You _seem to have no problem getting attention from the ladies. Look, another girl is ogling at you. You better get treatment for that B.O.I.E.B soon," I said in a mock serious tone. A girl with suspicious turquoise hair and a giant rack admired Ichigo from her seat.

He peered around until he spotted her. "Oh that chick?"

I nodded. "She's cute, maybe you should go say hi," I said with an amused expression. I was kind of hoping that he wouldn't _really _go though, because she was _really _attractive for a female. So sue me for being a little envious.

He cocked his head to the side as if to contemplate his options. "Nah, I think I'm having more fun here."

I released the breath I had been holding.

"Besides, I wouldn't want to get involved in _that _situation."

I frowned. "What situation?"

"She's only here to make her abusive boyfriend jealous. He's must be one of those lanky, tough-guys who are bitter about everything because he was mistreated as a child or some shit like that."

"What," I deadpanned.

"_He _gave her that red mark across her face, but after that, he could never touch her again because she kicked his ass every time he tried to hurt her," Ichigo said.

I raised my eyebrows. "You know that girl…?" I inquired.

A wide grin broke on his lips. "Nope, never seen her in my life. Your turn," he simpered.

"Huh?" I exclaimed, still confused.

He pointed at the man sitting two stools away from me. "That guy with the weird sixty-nine tattoo on his cheek. He looks like he has one hell of a story to tell his future grandchildren."

I quickly caught on to where this was going.

"Oh! Okay um…his dream is to become a world-famous guitar player..."

Ichigo looks at me expectantly. "And..?

"So every night, he sneaks into the janitor's closet at work to practice his C chord. Uh…his neighbour's rabid cat gave him those scratches on his face," I spat out hesitantly.

He blinked several times. "Come on, you can do better than that. How about that rich looking one with the black hair?"

I craned my neck to see the broad-shouldered male chatting with one of the women in the bar. I nodded confidently and smirked. "That guy? He comes here every night to find the masked girl who gave him the best kiss of his life at that Halloween party he attended in this bar last year."

"What was he dressed as?" Ichigo cut in.

"Um, a 1960's gangster. Anyway, this dude is sick of all the girls who flock him. He's kind of a hopeless romantic, so he really hopes that _when _not _if _he finds the girl, she will be 'the one.' He wears the exact same clothes as he did the night of the Halloween party so when she does come back, she'll recognize him."

Ichigo applauded for me. I pretended to curtsey in my seat.

"A little cliché, but everyone loves a good 'ol romance. I think we should just both become playwrights."

I smiled. "Totally."

"It'd be funny if that guy turned around with a giant boil on his nose and a unibrow. Maybe even a pimple or two if the changing weather isn't in favour of his skin," he said.

"Well if that's the case, then he can just settle for being a back model. He has a pretty impressive back," I added.

We both watched in anticipation for the man to get up or turn his head so we could get a good look at his face.

Two minutes passed before he finally got on his feet to head towards the bar. Ichigo leaned back against the counter in a vexed manner. "_Okay_…so he doesn't have a unibrow or a boil," Ichigo snorted. He glanced at me. "Rukia?"

I couldn't breathe.

What was Kaien doing here?

* * *

><p>Anyone remember MakizoMaki-Maki/Whiskers from the the SS arc? Boy was he one smokin' piece of meat.

Ahem. Aside from all that excitement, sorry for taking a while to produce such a crappy chapter. Not too happy with Ichigo's portion, but please leave a review anyway ;D

Also, I am deeply depressed about the end/break/whatever of the Bleach anime :( I was sad when I caught _up _to the episodes, so imagine how I feel about THIS! T_T


	5. V

**Notes: **I have been digging myself out a pile of homework in the month that I haven't updated :(

* * *

><p><strong>(ICHIGO)<strong>

**11:35 pm**

All the colour drained from Rukia's face when Mister Back Model over there began to saunter in our direction.

She turned to me with a look of dread stitched in her features. Her bright eyes seemed distant.

Before I could ask any questions, Rukia extended her arms out and brought my head towards her face. It was almost painful when she suddenly pressed her lips onto my mouth. Her teeth knocked into mine, and they scraped the skin of my gums. It took me a second to register that the Rukia was kissing me. _Hard_. That is, if you could even _call_ this collision of and flesh and bone 'kissing'. The taste of copper seeped onto my tongue, but I instinctively parted my mouth anyway. Nimble fingers threaded through my hair before settling on the nape of my neck.

I firmly believed that there was romantic connotation attached to kissing. It was too damn intimate and _personal_ to share with just _anyone_. I mean, there were emotions involved.

So sex? Sure. But kissing? I tried to avoid it if I wasn't into the girl.

Clearly, there was nothing _romantic_ about the way she fiercely moved her lips with mine. The kiss seemed almost desperate, like she was hungry for something. And that 'something' definitely wasn't me.

I didn't know how I was supposed to react to this.

And it sucked because I realized that I really liked kissing her. I didn't like _her_, but the kissing I could do more of.

Which was a really bad thing to want.

My lips felt bruised when she finally pulled away. I stared at the rise and fall of her collar bone while she panted. Anguish lingered in her eyes as she trailed a gaze down my face.

I searched her expression for answers, but she looked frozen.

Her already-white skin appeared paler than before.

Rukia closed her eyes tightly. Her hands were now gripping the ledge of the counter so hard that I was afraid her fingers would snap right off. What the hell had gotten into her?

Her eyebrows creased as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" She wedged her fingers into her hair.

Jesus, she looked scared. That man was in her line of vision, and she was absolutely_ shaken_.

So it was him. _He _was the reason why she was acting so god damn weird.

Man, just how many guys has Rukia been involved with anyway?

**(RUKIA)**

**11:34 pm**

I was still used to feeling my breath hitch at the sight of Kaien. Even after an entire year of not seeing his face, he _still _had the same effect on me.

So my chest heaved.

Kaien looked exactly the same as he did since the last time I saw him. Same height, same dark lashes, same seafoam green eyes.

I clutched the skirt of my kimono slip nervously while biting down on my lips. This _wasn't_ how my reunion with him was supposed to go. I imagined us to be_ much_ older. Old enough so that he wouldn't view me as a little kid anymore. Mature enough so he would really_ look_ at me. See me for the femme fatale I _could _be, and not the skinny girl with the scars all over her body.

I traced a running scab on my arm and swallowed. But he was still more beautiful than me, and the thumping of my heart clearly showed that I hadn't grown up yet, not one bit. I was still foolishly in love with Kaien Shiba.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_.

I mentally scolded myself for allowing my train of thought to fall so quickly back into how it _used _to be. Blush would stain my cheeks at the commanding air of his presence. My stomach would begin to hurt, though it was usually nothing more than a dull churning.

And the butterflies.

They fluttered incessantly within my ribcage. I began to panic as Kaien came closer to where Ichigo and I were sitting. I couldn't risk having him recognize me. I didn't know if I could allow my heart to bleed for him again. So without a second thought, I slid my hands into Ichigo's hair and crushed my mouth over his to conceal my face.

If anything, the kiss _hurt_. His incisors bit down on my lip by accident, and he probably tore some skin off too. But what surprised me was that he _didn't _jerk backwards the moment I grabbed him. Instead, he leaned into me. When I felt the warm pressure of his lips, I immediately tore away from him in surprise. My face flushed in embarrassment.

He wouldn't- _shouldn't_ be kissing me back. I couldn't take how much he looked like Kaien.

And even though I was afraid of being spotted, a little part of me couldn't help but _want _Kaien to see me with Ichigo. But then I instantly felt silly for thinking this, because it's not like he would feel jealous. He had a _wife _for God's sake, and she was _radiant_.

The first time I met Miyako Shiba, I thought that she was the closest you could get to being an angel. I couldn't even feel bitter about how she won Kaien's heart first because she was so _warm_. Admittedly, I used to want to be her. I remember how I would steal ribbons from Yoruichi's dresser, then practice putting my hair up like Miyako's in the mirror. I could never achieve the same look. My hair wasn't long and sleek like hers, it flipped out wildly at the ends. I got so sick of my hair that I eventually chopped off most of the length. Now it grazed just below my chin.

I clinched my eyes shut and started to count things in my head. His footsteps, the drum of Ichigo's fingers, my heartbeat.

When I felt beads of perspiration drip from my forehead, I quickly removed Ichigo's sweater. Why was it so uncomfortably _hot _in here?

Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed an abandoned shot glass on the table to down its contents. Right away, I felt the burning sensation of the strong liquid coat my throat. I immediately began to cough when my body rejected the poison. I crossed my arms over my stomach as I hacked violently. People were starting to stare.

Ichigo shot me an irritated look. "Are you stupid? You can't just go and drink from someone else's glass! It could've been drugged for all we know!" he scolded testily. He gripped onto my shoulders to steady me.

"Shut up," I managed to choke out as I wiped my mouth. When I looked up, I could see Kaien staring at me from where he was standing.

I didn't want to stay to see if he realized it was_ me_.

I quickly jumped off from my stool and gripped Ichigo's wrist.

"_Hey_ what are you doing?" he cried out as I dragged him through the throng of people. I headed towards the washrooms and yanked open one of the doors. "Wait- I can't go in there!"

Three girls turned around and gave us startled looks. They each clutched some sort of cosmetic palette in their hands. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. "This is an emergency washroom inspection, I repeat _emergency_. You can pamper yourselves elsewhere, so all three of you- _yes _you too- are required to leave. _Now_!" I shouted. They all simultaneously glanced at Ichigo, then back at me, but this time with a sneer on their faces.

Yeah well, screw you too.

The girls seemed annoyed, but they shuffled out accordingly, checking Ichigo out in the process. I rolled my eyes at this.

He jerked away from me as soon as I closed the door. "First you assault my face, then you drag me into the girls' washroom. So what's next? _Murder_?"

I scoffed at him in disbelief. "Excuse me? Assault your_ face?_ You would've shoved your slimy tongue in my mouth if I didn't pull away first!" I retorted hotly.

Ichigo gawked at me and began to sputter. "Wha- no- you- you're delusional!" A hint of red tinged his ears. "What was _that_ all about anyway?"

I let out a sigh. What was I supposed to tell him? He wouldn't believe me if I said that I had a sudden, overwhelming desire to kiss him, because first of all, _no_. And second of all, I wouldn't want him to believe something so absurd anyway.

I looked away from him. "I needed to hide my face, okay?" I mumbled.

_Why oh why_ did I have to tell him the truth?

He furrowed his eyebrows. "And my mouth just happened to be the most convenient tool around for that?" His lips twitched.

I glared daggers at him. "Why are you being so touchy? It was just kiss. Jeez." I crossed my arms and sat down in one of the chairs.

"I'm _not_," Ichigo exclaimed sharply. He quickly swallowed and straightened his posture. "I mean- you almost knocked my fucking teeth out."

I narrowed my eyes, but didn't say anything. I was too emotionally drained to bicker with him right now. And I really, _really_ didn't want to have a nervous breakdown, especially not in front of Ichigo.

So a brief silence settled between us. He slouched his body to lean against the sink counters.

I knew he was staring at me, but I kept my eyes glued on the tiled floors. "You don't have to stay you know," I said softly. I dug my fingernails into my flesh.

I saw the scowl break on his face from my peripheral vision. "I'm not gonna just leave, you idiot. Not when you're like _this_." His arms folded over his chest. He cocked his head to peer at me.

I still refused to meet his gaze.

"It's that Kaien guy…isn't it?"

My eyes widened at the sound of his name. I twisted my neck to face him. "How did you-"

"I heard you whisper it back at the bar." He waved his hand dismissively. "So why are you running from him?"

_Because I've humiliated myself one too many times. _

I shook my head. "I'm serious, go home- or back to the tower, or whatever," I muttered. I finally released my fingernails from my skin. Red, crescent marks were now imprinted on both of my arms.

Ichigo immediately scoffed at this.

"Go _away,_" I seethed.

"Like hell I'll let _you _boss me around." He took several steps towards where I was sitting and angled towards me. "Stop it."

I blinked. "Stop what?"

"Stop being so God damn _stubborn _and just _tell_ me why you're all gloomy and shit." He released a long sigh. "You're not _okay_."

My heart was about to leap out of my throat, but I couldn't let Ichigo know what I did- or rather, _didn't _do. He would think I was a disgusting excuse for a human being. _I _thought I was a disgusting excuse for a human being.

His eyes bored into mine. They were heavy and warm.

"He used to…" I fumbled over my words, racking my brain for something to say. "He used to stalk me," I finally mumbled.

I mentally slapped myself for telling such a lie, but it was too late to correct myself _now_.

Ichigo frowned and stood up straight. "As in, he would _follow _you around?"

Kaien had been my mentor for martial arts among other things, but sometimes Byakuya would ask him to act as a bodyguard. So yes, he _did _follow me around occasionally…

As long as I could stay away from Kaien tonight, I didn't think it mattered whether Ichigo thought he was a decent person or not.

I swallowed. "Uh huh…it got to the point where he'd always hang outside my window and wait until I left the house," I said in a drawn out tone. This was technically the truth too, because Kaien _did _wait in the courtyard for me to go for walks some mornings…

Ichigo didn't seem the least bit surprised though. "Huh. I kind of figured that there would be pathetic creeps who preyed on you, I mean, you're the prin-"

"For the last time, I'm not _royalty! _So stop referring to me as 'princess'!" I snapped moodily.

"Well you're a royal pain in the _ass_, I'll tell you that," he muttered under his breath.

"Why you-"

"You can't just stay in here forever you know," he cut in abruptly.

That's _exactly _what I was planning to do.

I stood up. "Why not? There's water…soap…a toilet…" I began to pace around nervously.

"Rukia." I felt his hand clasp around my wrist to stop me from fidgeting. I looked up at him. "What exactly did this guy do to you?" he asked cautiously.

His grasp on me tightened when I couldn't find the words to say. I took a deep breath. "He…he tried to hurt me." My voice was almost a whisper. "I mean, he _did_ hurt me."

The last part was true enough, though not in a physical sense.

Ichigo fixed an intense stare on me. "Is that what all these marks are?" His gaze shifted to my exposed forearms. I hadn't realized that my sleeves had slipped down to my elbows.

I looked down at my skin. There were multiple discoloured bruises and scars all _over_ my body because of the training I did with Byakuya. My brother firmly believed that any self-respecting human should know how to defend him or herself. And now that Kaien was gone, I was forced to train with my brother on a regular basis instead. He never let me forget just how much _stronger _he was.

Without even waiting for a response, Ichigo yanked my arm and began to pull me out through the doorway. "Hey, let _go_ of me you jerk!" I cried out. I struggled to free myself. "What do you think you're doing?"

He didn't listen to me. "Would you just shut up? If that asshole actually spotted you, we're gonna get out of here- _now_," Ichigo said with alarming sincerity. I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so I finally gave him a meek nod and allowed him to lead us through the crowd of minglers.

My body brushed up against clammy bodies and beer stained fabric as we made our way through the room. The pungent stench of sweat and alcohol seemed a lot stronger than before.

In a matter of minutes, we finally stumbled upon the back door that had been obscured by a group of people. Ichigo swung it wide open and let me exit first. I immediately felt the nipping wind bite my skin once I stepped outside, especially since I left his sweater back at the bar table. I couldn't fathom how Ichigo could still be standing in that flimsy tee shirt of his.

The door closed behind us and made a dull _thudding _sound. We appeared to be in an eerie alleyway- as if being in the _dark_ wasn't scary enough.

"Come on," Ichigo snapped impatiently. He was already a couple feet in front of me. I scrambled to catch up with him.

It wasn't too bad once we got to the sidewalk. Streetlamps and blinking traffic lights lit up the roads, but I wasn't familiar with our surroundings at _all_. Ichigo was the first to stop walking.

"Any idea what time it is?" he asked in a rushed manner. He rubbed his hands together to generate heat. The mist of his breath was visible in the air.

I shook my head. "Haven't got a clue." I looked around for some sort of clock, but of course there were none. I finally made a gesture towards the man getting in his car. "Maybe we can ask that guy over there- " I began to jog towards the boy. "Hey! Do you know what ti-"

I immediately froze in my tracks when he turned around. I felt my throat close up as heat crept up my cheeks.

_Same height, same dark lashes, same seafoam green eyes._

_Shit._

Kaien took a couple strides towards me. "Ru…kia?" He craned his neck to get a better look. "I _thought _it was you inside that place! I haven't seen you since- " He suddenly paused and swallowed the rest of his words.

My hand raised to tuck a loose strand behind my ear, but before I could even give a proper response, Ichigo was suddenly standing in front of me with his shoulders squared in a protective stance.

_Fuckitty fuck fuck. _This was _not_ good.

I quickly reached out. "Wait Ichigo-"

"You know, you have a lot of nerve for even breathing the same _air _as Rukia after how _you_ treated her," Ichigo seethed.

Kaien's face contorted into a look of bewilderment. "Excuse me?" A frown settled on his face.

I was now using both hands to pull at Ichigo's arm, but he easily shook me off. "Ichigo please, just listen to me- _Ichigo_!" I cried out desperately.

He finally twisted his neck to respond. "Let me _handle _this," he said in a hushed tone. He resumed his glare at Kaien. "What kind of _sick bastard _finds pleasure in harming innocent _girls_? Now _leave _if you don't want any trouble."

Kaien tilted his head to look at me. "Rukia, what is this guy going on abo-"

"She doesn't want to talk to you, you jackass!" Ichigo snarled venomously. He shoved Kaien in the shoulder.

"_Stop_!" I screamed as Kaien stumbled backwards.

"Hey what's your _problem_?" he glowered at Ichigo. Kaien took staggered steps to regain to his balance.

"Don't give me that bullshit. Rukia could hardly even _move _when she saw your filthy face," Ichigo hissed as he jabbed a finger to Kaien's collarbone.

Kaien raised his hand to shove Ichigo back in annoyance. "Look mister, I'd appreciate it if you'd just _step back _and tell me what all _this _is about_,_" he scowled sharply. I quickly pressed my palms against Ichigo's shoulder blades to steady him from behind.

Ichigo grabbed my arm and shoved the sleeve up. "It's about _these_," he spat out contemptuously.

Kaien's eyes were transfixed on the welts I had. "Rukia…" He extended his hand to gingerly graze a bruise. "…did _I _give these to you?"

I pulled my arm back and held it against my chest. "No-"

"Get your hands _off _of her!" Ichigo growled. My eyes widened when he drew his fist back.

"_No!_" I shrieked instictively. I pushed Ichigo aside and wrapped my arms around Kaien tightly. "Don't hurt him. You _can't_," I choked out in a whimper. I pressed my face up against the familiar scent of grass and musk.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard Ichigo exclaim incredulously.

Kaien, though a little startled, placed his hand over my head. "Hey…what's wrong?" he asked softly. I willed myself not to cry when I realized how brotherly and _kind _he still was. I tore away from him and turned around to face Ichigo.

His face was red with chagrin. "What's going on?"

I fingered the hem of my sleeve as I stared at his hands. "Could you…give us a moment?" I breathed out.

"But I thought that-"

"_Please_," I shot him a pleading look.

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he wanted to say didn't come out. "Fine," he said through clenched teeth. And with that, he bent his knees to sit down on the edge of the curb.

I guided Kaien to the alleyway and used an empty crate as a chair. I blew at my bangs in exasperation.

"Who _is _that guy and why does he seem to hate my guts?" he asked as he glanced at the street. His expression was wry.

"Because I told him that you were…a stalker." There was no point in lying now.

I waited for Kaien to burst out in anger, or _something_, but all he did was laugh. I looked up at his amused expression.

"After all those years of being your beloved Sensei, _that's _what I've been credited as? Come on Rukia, don't I deserve a title a little less sinister? Like maybe _captain _or something?" he chuckled. "Why would you tell him _that_?"

I felt my face flush. "I don't know…I guess I wanted to avoid _this_," I said uneasily.

Kaien crossed his arms. "What's _this_?"

I sighed. "It's..." I refused to make eye contact with him as I fiddled with my skirt. "..._us_. Don't you- don't you hate me?"

He raised one eyebrow. "Remind me why I hate you again…?"

I couldn't stand how he could be so calm while my insides were racking with nerves. "You lost your _job _because of me!" I exclaimed in an exasperated manner.

Kaien put his index finger on his chin. "Oh right…"

My chest constricted, feeling the shame I felt from that night all over again. "I don't blame you if you do," I whispered. I folded my hands over my lap.

He blinked several times before speaking. "Okay then. Are you ready to atone for your actions?"

_Actions_. Everything was so familiar, and the look in his eyes made me feel like my heart was being compressed. Something choked my insides.

Kaien still spoke in that same blunt tone. It seemed almost surreal that he was standing _right there_.

He could shatter me so easily.

Kaien began to tighten his hand into a fist. He clamped his other one over it. My stomach felt queasy when I realized that he was really going to hit me.

"Yes," I said, trying to hide the waver in my voice. I told myself that this was different from when we used to spar.

"Close your eyes," he ordered firmly. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the pain of a direct blow. My toes curled in anticipation. Seconds passed but it still didn't co-

"Ow!" I yelped when I felt a sharp sting on my forehead.

I opened my eyes to see Kaien's hand lingering in front of my face. I brought my fingers up to rub the spot where he had flicked me.

"Kaien!" I squawked angrily.

He casually cracked his knuckles and rolled his eyes at me. "Come _on _Rukia! You've got to learn to let that stuff _go_!" There was a smug smile on his face. "Because I have, kiddo."

I gaped at him, unable to form any coherent words. His teasing tone made me so _mad_, even more so because he called me "kiddo", but I couldn't deny the feeling of relief that washed over me.

He squinted at me. "_Hey_ what's with that look? I was never angry with you. Not once. So don't sweat about it," he scoffed.

I focused my gaze on the ground. "But you didn't say goodbye to me the night you left the house…" I said softly.

Kaien scratched the back of his neck. "Byakuya wouldn't let me anywhere _near _you." He leaned his back against the wall.

Right. Of course.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

He pressed his hand onto my head again and ruffled my hair. It was a brotherly gesture, but I found some comfort in it. "I already told'ya that it was alright. So no more sad faces, okay?"

I didn't say anything.

"_Okay_?" he lightly pushed my forehead.

I nodded weakly as he lifted his hand. He grinned at me. "And besides, I don't think Byakuya was too fond of me to begin with. We just never got along, you know?"

I understood how _that _felt. I watched Kaien, and my throat tightened all over again. Why couldn't I shake these feelings?

He bent over to peer at my arms again. "Rukia…tell me where you got these marks from."

I was quiet for a moment. Kaien looked at me expectantly.

I plastered a smile on my face. "Oh they're nothing really! Just a few scratches from training with Nii-sama. I guess I need to train a bit harder," I piped up dismissively.

He frowned, keeping his eyes on my skin. "He really shouldn't be so hard on you."

"It's okay, they don't even hurt."

_But this does_.

There was something that I was a little afraid to ask, but the question had been tugging at my mind since the moment I saw him.

"How is…Lady Shiba?" I finally blurted out. A look of disdain immediately showed on his face once I spoke her name.

Kaien took some time to answer. "Miyako…passed away. Last autumn." He swallowed hard.

I clasped my hands over my mouth to suppress the gasp that was rising up my throat. "B-but how?" I couldn't believe this. Miyako was so perfect in every way, I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of her body being buried six feet under.

I thought back to how she used to sometimes come in my room and help me get ready. She'd tie my ribbons with her thin hands while softly humming a lullaby. It seemed unfair that someone so wholesome could just be _gone _like that._  
><em>

He averted his eyes."In a car accident."

I was helpless to stop the pain he so clearly felt. My heart was breaking as I watched the sadness seep through his features.

"Do you…miss her?" I asked pathetically. I immediately wanted to kick myself for asking such a stupid question. What was I _thinking_?

Kaien sucked in a deep breath. "Every fucking day." His eyes got distant, and then he wasn't looking at me anymore.

And that was it. He loved _her _and I loved _him _and he would never love _me _that way. Not even if I grew out of this ugly duckling stage and turned into some beautiful swan- not _ever_. This realization ate me from the inside out.

Oh God, I just wanted to run. Run away from him, from _everything_. I was such a terrible person. Here I was, feeling jealous of his _dead _wife. I didn't deserve his kindness.

The cold pricked at my fingertips. I felt numb.

He let out a curt breath. "You should probably go back to your friend over there." Kaien held out his hand for me to grab. "I won't ask what you were doing at a bar in the middle of the night, but promise me that you'll stay safe."

I reluctantly grabbed his hand and pulled myself up.

His arm closed around my back to embrace me. I lifted my cheek to look up at him. I never wanted to let go, because I knew this was the last time we'd ever be this close again. I missed him so much. The smell of his sweat, the reassurance of his warmth. I was afraid that he'd feel the erratic beating of my heart. He quickly kissed my forehead and released me.

We sauntered back to where Ichigo was in silence. He was still sulking with his elbows propped on his knees. He twisted his head around when he heard our footsteps.

"Hi," I said to him.

"Hey…"

Kaien clasped a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "Take care of her."

He walked out of my life for the second time.

* * *

><p>This is old news, but I really hope that they renew the anime at some point...I miss seeing my favourite pair of characters bickering :( When Rukia had tears in her eyes in the last episode, I almost cried with her :'( KUBO NEEDS TO DRAW RUKIA MORE IN THE MANGA :O<p>

Leave a review? :) I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, so please tell me what I can improve on! All will be clear in the next chapter.


	6. VI

**Notes: **Summer is coming soon, so I hope I'll be able to update more frequently. I'm sorry that I took so long to write this :(

Also, the story _is _progressing rather slowly...so that makes me worry about it being boring. I'm not too fond of this chapter, but please review to tell me what you think! Thank you guys so much for reading! It really means a lot to me :)**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>(ICHIGO)<strong>

**11:55 pm**

Rukia and _that guy _came back looking chummy as ever. I could hardly believe this. I nearly choked on my own spit when I saw the way he kept his palm on her back.

She greeted me curtly.

My shoulders tensed when I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder. He bent down and spoke into my ear, "Protect her with your _life_." And with that, the man promptly turned his heels around and headed in the other direction. What kind of twisted relationships did Rukia harbor under the Kuchiki household?

I craned my head to peer up at her. She had a faraway look in her eyes that made me think of rain and emptiness and other sad things like that. It was hard for me to keep a steady gaze on her. "He wasn't a stalker…was he," I said slowly. It came out sounding more like a statement than a question though.

She busied her hands by tugging at loose strands of her hair. "No. Not really." A faint sigh blew out from her lips.

I snorted. "Might wanna _tell _me stuff like that before I get ready to pummel the guy."

Rukia sneered and folded her arms in petulance. "Tch, don't flatter yourself. You wouldn't survive five seconds in a fight with Kaien," she retorted defensively.

I scowled, but didn't say anything. She then crouched down in the spot next to me and planted herself on the pavement. Rukia was upset- I could tell by the listless movements of her arms and legs. She was glancing at all the objects in our surroundings- trees, cars, lamps- quick looks at everything _but _me.

So we were back to square one.

"Now what?" I finally spat out after a brief moment of dead air. This lack of sound wasn't the comfortable kind either.

Rukia had her chin in her palms as she turned to face me. Her dark, inky lashes fluttered several times. She was sitting right in front of me, but she wasn't really _there. _Not truly anyway. Fading was the lucidity in her eyes. She rubbed them with the back of her wrist.

I lazily rested both elbows on my kneecaps, trying to emulate a look of boredom. I wanted to get a rise out of her, anything but this muted _silence_. Moonlight cast spidery shadows on her porcelain face, and I wondered if she was blinking back tears. I swallowed hard and bit down on my tongue.

Her mouth finally parted. "Aren't you going to demand me to tell you all about Kaien?" she asked. The corners of her lips tugged upwards. It still looked pretty pathetic, but the softness in her voice surprised me.

I quickly averted my stare to the ground. There were some things that simply shouldn't be inquired about- and this was seemingly one of those things. I couldn't just trespass on what left such an apparent scar on her heart. I wasn't _that _insensitive.

"And what makes you think that I'd be interested in learning anything about the Kuchiki family tree anyway?" I scoffed.

The sudden quirk of her lips made me feel uneasy. "Oh I don't know, by the way you practically _begged_ to know who Kaien was back in the girls' washroom," she piped up teasingly. "Besides, he isn't exactly family.."

Dejection fell over her features all over again.

"I _don't_ beg," I snapped hotly. "And it's fine. You don't have to tell me anyth-"

"He taught me martial arts," she interrupted sharply. Her knees pulled forward and she pressed her mouth into the bend of her elbow. "I guess you could say that Kaien was my Sensei."

I swept off some of the grainy dust on the sidewalk and rubbed it between my fingers. "Who would've guessed that a girl so small could _fight_."

She narrowed her eyes. I didn't have time to react when she suddenly socked me in the jaw with one, swift movement.

"_Shit_ Rukia!" I cried out as I clutched my chin with both hands. I gingerly used my fingers to feel if there was any blood. "What's your _problem_?" Pain seared in the area under my mouth.

"Make another 'small' joke. I dare you," she bristled. Her small hand tucked back beneath her forearm.

I continued to tenderly rub my jawbone. "God, you can be such a _bitch_ sometimes."

I could hardly consider her feelings with my mouth stinging so badly. It began to feel sore as I gently pressed on the bruise that was beginning to form.

Rukia angled away from me and fumed. "Tell me something I _don't _know," she huffed. Something glistened on the surface on her cheek.

I had the urge to yell and scream and shout at her for hitting me so hard this time. The last thing I wanted to be was _consoling_, but that was the problem with females- they were always too pretty or too delicate to hurt. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. "Stop _crying _would you?" I managed to spit out. There was still a hint of bitterness in my voice.

Rukia shot me an annoyed look. "I'm not crying you idiot." She hastily brushed her face with the back of her hand.

I gaped at her in disbelief. "Are you seriously going to sit there and lie to me like that? I can _see _you." I reached over and quickly used the pad of my thumb to swipe at her cheek. Her skin was wet. "You're crying," I said dryly.

Rukia's face twisted into a riled expression. "You ignoramus!" She held out her palm. I watched as her fingers slowly curled into a fist. "It's raining. See?"

I frowned, but stuck out my hand as well. Sure enough, tiny droplets of water were starting to fall from the sky. In a matter of minutes, more rain began to make its way towards the earth. The droplets splashed onto my palm and dripped down my wrist. "Fuck, it's actually _raining_." I groaned irritably.

"I just _said _that," she snapped in a haughty voice.

The drizzle slowly built up to a relentless downpour, so the two of us got up on our feet and trod to the nearest cover. We scrambled under the awning of a tailor's shop to keep ourselves dry. There was nothing to prevent the icy coldness in the air though. I hunched over to retain the warmth in my body. "_Shit_," I muttered under my breath. "I hate it when it fucking rains."

Rukia blinked at me. "Wow you get _mouthy_ when the weather is gray." She edged closer towards me to avoid the drip of water from the overhang. "Come on, it's not _that _bad."

Puddles collected in the concave areas of the cement. I thought I could see blood pooling, but then the viscous fluid turned transparent again. I rubbed my eyes until I saw fireworks dance behind my lids. Rukia lightly touched my forearm, but I quickly jerked back out of instinct. She frowned, a little put off by my actions. I didn't mean to be so cold, it just sort of came out that way.

Rukia looked at the floor. "I'm sorry for…hitting you. Sometimes I take out my emotions on people." She scuffed at the cement with her foot. "It's kind of awful." She seemed so vulnerable all of a sudden, with her eyes cast downwards and her shoulders slumped over.

I took a deep breath. It was unnerving- the way she could affect people like that. "It's okay." I swallowed my pride. "I guess all that time spent at a dojo went straight down the toilet because I couldn't even block your hit," I said with a half-hearted smile.

She shifted, and her ears perked up. "So you took martial arts too." A smirk crept up her lips. "We have something in common? Weird."

"That period in my life taught me nothing but shame anyway. There was this one girl who always handed my ass back to me every time we sparred," I mused. Thinking about Tatsuki made me feel a little sad inside. We haven't spoken to each other in months, and she used to be my closest friend when we were younger. "I always got so frustrated 'cause she was a _girl_ for God's sake."

Rukia poked a finger at my bicep. "Excuse me? Maybe you're just weak." She finally smiled. I exhaled a little. "But the one thing Kaien taught me was to never let emotions get the best of you…" The laugh that came out her mouth was spiritless.

She suddenly looked up at me. "Do you have someone who you can always count on to make you feel better?"

I gripped the cloth of my pants. The image of red and orange tugged at my brain again. "Yeah," I managed to say. I mean, I _did_.

But my mother wasn't here anymore.

"Well Kaien was that person for me," she said so quietly, it was almost a whisper. "Byakuya hired him to be my personal 'trainer' of sorts. He taught me…a lot of things about life and trust."

I squinted at her. "Then why did you run like Satan was at your heels when you saw the guy?"

Rukia gave me a look of exasperation. She took a moment to respond. "Because I…did something that I wasn't proud of." She shook loose a few strands of hair to cover her eyes. Her cheeks were flustered with a tint of red.

"Things like what?" I asked blatantly.

She hesitated before speaking up. "Things like kissing him the way I kissed you."

I blinked, wondering if this was a pattern with Rukia. Apparently she gave kisses out as often as I waved 'hello' to people. I let out a short breath. "Well _that_ was anti-climatic. You yourself said that kissing wasn't a big deal." I didn't agree with this, but that was beside the point.

"It is if you actually _like _the person," she burst out. "And that's not the worst part."

I folded my arms over my chest. So my suspicions were confirmed. Of _course _she'd go stupid over some hot-shot like him. It was just so damn predictable.

I raised my eyebrows irritably. "Then what is?"

Rukia frowned at me. "Why do you sound like you're jealous or something?"

My arms immediately uncrossed themselves in disbelief. I narrowed my eyes. "What's there to be jealous _about_?"

A hint of skepticism crossed her face, but she didn't continue to press on the matter. Clearly, the trauma had messed with her brain or something. I mean, I didn't even _know_ the guy!

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever." Her hand lifted to pluck some _invisible_ dust off her slip. "Kaien is married- or was married. I don't know, his wife passed away."

"You made a move on a_ married man_?" I asked with wide eyes. I was a little surprised by this. Not that I knew Rukia all that well or anything, but she didn't seem like the type to do something like that.

She nibbled on her bottom lip. "I don't know what got into me, okay? He just came into my room one night- and he was _shirtless _for God's sake- then he sat down on the edge of my bed…and wished me luck on my upcoming tournament-"

"So you kissed him," I cut in dryly.

Rukia inhaled sharply. "Yeah." She looked away from me. "Conveniently, Byakuya decided to step in right when I did. Me in my nightgown, Kaien with no shirt on, and the two of us on the bed with my mouth against his. You do the math."

"Oh _shit_," I heard myself murmur. "Jesus."

The head of the Kuchiki clan was definitely not a man of appeasement. I swear I've never seen that guy smile before, not even on television- not ever. It was eerily intimidating.

Rukia fell quiet for a moment. Her face was even redder than before. "My brother, he- he dragged Kaien out of my room. And after that, there was a lot of yelling and loud noises being made outside. They wouldn't even let me go downstairs," she exclaimed. "I was so _worried _about Kaien." A hand clutched the upper limb of her arm.

I slouched so I could lean my shoulder against the glass window. I fumbled to find the words to say. "Did you…talk to your brother after?" I asked lamely.

Rukia tilted her neck back to stare up at the awning. "No. I was a weak coward. All I did was cry every night." She squeezed her arm even harder and rocked back and forth on the soles of her feet. "I _hate _myself for it."

Her voice sounded choked up and doleful. It was so fucking miserable to listen to. I've never felt this heavyhearted for someone else before. The feeling sucked, to say the least.

I reached out with my hand, but Rukia shrunk away from me. "Hey…who cares about what your brother thinks anyway. It's okay-"

"No it's _not_!" she cried out. "He thought that Kaien 'took advantage of me' and beat the bloody pulp out of him! It's sick-" She paused. "_-I'm _sick! He was kicked out of the house because of me!"

Boy, that man has really got her shaken up.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "Rukia…even if you did tell Byakuya the truth, would he even believe you? You know, with Kaien being an older _male_ and all," I pointed out.

She finally focused on me with an uneasy look on her face. "…Probably not. But the fact that I was too damn scared makes me pathetic scum. I don't deserve to have people like Kaien in my life."

I clenched my teeth together, feeling angry all of a sudden. _Mad_ at how she was so painfully self-deprecating. How could she even think this way? I harshly seized her by the elbow and jolted her a little. "Don't _say _stuff like that, you idiot! Just 'cause you made one little mistake, doesn't mean that you can go around declaring that you don't _deserve _shit. You're still a _person_," I scolded her bitterly.

Rukia pulled her arm back with vigor. "How _profound _of you," she hissed with sarcasm laced in her tone. She took a couple steps backwards until the overhang no longer suspended over her body. The water slowly seeped through her kimono slip, making it stick against her skin. Her hair matted down on her scalp. "Hey come _back _here would you? You'll catch a cold," I chided.

Rukia shot me an eye roll. "As if it's any warmer over _there_."

Stubborn moron. I glowered at her as she started to skip in the puddles. Muddy water splashed on the back of her legs, leaving tracks of gray on her skin. What the hell was she doing? "Come on Ichigo, the rain isn't going to hurt you," she sang out loud. But her voice sounded off. She continued to jump around on the water, stomping in her sandals.

"Can you stop that?" I seethed. "You're getting mud all over yourself!"

**(RUKIA)**

**12:07 AM**

I hopped across the cement to land in another shallow pool of water. The cool spray of rain stung the back of my heels. I snuck a glance at Ichigo. His refusal to come out from under the awning was strange, a little pathetic even. But after a few moments, the rain droplets pelting down on my body began to prick more like ice needles. He stared at me.

I held my arms out to embrace it. My hands were beginning to feel cold, but it still wasn't punishment enough. I forcefully kicked the water in front of me, watching as some of it splattered on the hem of my skirt. I was increasingly dissatisfied by the way it hardly soiled the fabric. I leapt from puddle to puddle, getting a perverse sense of amusement by the numbness settling in my legs.

Tonight had been too much, seeing Renji and Kaien again like that. I didn't even want to _think_ anymore.

As I skittered around, my foot suddenly caught in a crack on the pavement. I felt myself sailing forward to the ground. My hands instinctively reached out to stop the fall, but it burned when the cement scraped at my palms. After landing on both knees, I allowed my legs to collapse on the floor. I was already drenched, so it's not like it mattered anyway.

"Rukia!" I heard Ichigo's heavy footsteps splash towards me. He bent over with his hands on his thighs. "Jesus you're stupid! Are you alright?" he asked breathlessly.

I wasn't sure how to answer that, but he didn't wait long enough for me to give him one. His arm extended towards me and he clutched the collar of my slip. I didn't know whether to be appalled or impressed by the way he easily lifted me up. I grounded my feet. "Hey-"

"Want to know something that my mother taught me?" Ichigo scowled bitingly. "You have to forgive _yourself _before you expect anyone else to!" He loosened his grip on me, then finally let go. I stared at him in shock. His eyes were red, and he looked as if _he_ was about to cry.

Ichigo fixed a gaze on my hands. "Damn it. Look, you're _bleeding_," he said shakily. "Why did you deliberately try to hurt yourself?"

"I _didn't_. It's not like I tripped on purpose, God." But I hardly sounded convincing to myself. "And this is coming from the guy who was ready to fling himself off the side of a building? That's _rich_." I crossed my arms feverishly.

"In case you've forgotten, you were up there _with me_. So shut up." He averted his eyes.

I looked up at him, anger boiling in my veins. "Yeah well, you don't have to bear the burden of being the reason why somebody is broke and unemployed!" I exclaimed fiercely.

Ichigo was quiet for a second. But his voice was low and strangled when he spoke. "You're right, I didn't ruin somebody's life, I just ripped it out from underneath them."

Then almost instantly, he strode ahead and began to run.

His sneakers made loud slapping noises against the water as he sped off. I couldn't figure out what made him so _upset_ all of a sudden. But I didn't stop to ponder. "Ichigo!" I hollered while taking a couple steps forward. I slowly gained momentum as I chased after him. The wind howled in my ears, and my eyesight was blurred from the rain. It felt like I was running blindly through the streets and crosswalks.

It didn't take long for Ichigo to stop abruptly once we reached some sort of park. He leaned forward with both hands clutching at his sides while panting. I stumbled toward him and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around. "Why did you suddenly take off that like?" I sounded breathless.

He shook my hand off. "What day is it today?"

I frowned. What did that how to do with anything? "Huh?"

"I said, what _day _is it?" Ichigo repeated tersely.

I tried to think back to when Byakuya told me the date of the scheduled marriage proposal. It was probably midnight by now, so _that_ was technically yesterday. "It's June seventeenth…assuming that it's already midnight," I finally replied. "Why?"

Ichigo tangled his hands in his hair and leaned back in a defeated manner. "Shit, shit, _shit_," he cursed under his breath.

"Hey what's the matter?" I snapped impatiently. "Why are you acting like this?"

He pressed his fist against a tree trunk and squeezed his eyes shut. "It's the anniversary of my mother's death." He suddenly snapped his head up. "I need to get back to the tower before Karin and Yuzu wake up- I need to- fuck, I don't even know where we _are_-" His words were frantic and desperate.

"Can you just _slow down _for a second? Who's Karin and Yuzu?" I asked more softly.

Ichigo slumped his back against the tree trunk. "They're my younger sisters."

Right. He actually had a family who loved and cared for him. The selfish fool. I stepped in front of him. "You moron…you'll only hurt them more."

He turned over so that his forehead was pressing on the wet bark. "They'd end up hating me anyway once they find out that…our mother is dead because of _me_."

I pressed me lips together. Ichigo was stupid, annoying, and rash- but a _murderer _he was not. "What are you babbling on about?" I continued to pry.

He whirled around. "She died trying to protect me! It's _my _fault that Karin and Yuzu had to grow up without a mom!" His fists clenched until each knuckle turned white. "You'll never understand the pain and suffering I have to live with every single day!" He growled.

Suddenly, my problem seemed petty compared to his. Here I was, mourning over how Kaien didn't like me, and all this time, Ichigo had been bottling up his grief for my sake.

A man was always trying to be the strong one.

"Ichigo…" I said his name faintly. "You _just _told me that I had to forgive myself first."

His eyes shifted uneasily. "So sue me, I'm a hypocrite." He blew out a sigh. "How the hell am I supposed just _excuse _something like the death of my mother?"

"You _know _that's not what I mean. You said that she died protecting you right? So it's not_ your_ fault," I spoke firmly.

Ichigo opened his mouth as if he was about to retort, but then his attention was abruptly diverted to the sky. He raised his arm and pointed upwards. "Um, what the hell is that?"

I craned my neck to see what he was staring at. I squinted my eyes to get a better look.

There was a helicopter hovering above the city, but it wasn't just any helicopter. There was a picture of the Kuchiki family crest painted on the side. "Oh _crap_!" I cried out.

"They're searching for you-"

"I _know _that, come on!" I grabbed his wrist and dragged him along.

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><p>Memories in the rain anyone? :P The 'pain and suffering' sentence was taken directly from episode eight, so I take no credit for that.<p>

I know that this chapter was uneventful, but I couldn't even stand to look at it anymore. I'll try to make the upcoming chapters more interesting!


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